Chapter Twenty-eight: Back on stage

Today was the day, the big day. I would step on stage for the first time in about three months. To say the very thought had me shaking and scared, was understatement. I was terrified. It was as if I was a newbie just starting out all over again. But I had to shove that negativity aside and focus on putting on a good show. After all, no one wants to see performer stumbling and stuttering on stage, surely that'd put an end to my career.

Abby was busy and unable to do my makeup last minute, so my new "stylist" Lacey filled in for her. I have to say it wasn't a pleasant experience. It was as if she was working on a doll with her pulling my face in all types of directions. She apologized about a dozen times, but it didn't take away the stinging pain. Thankfully, the process ended and I didn't look half bad. The bright purple/pink lip was new to me, but it wasn't too dramatic. And I actually loved my hair. We decided to go back to black with a touch of blonde on the ends.

I was debuting my new song at a club called Level 4. It was a nice establishment, clean and kind of upscale. Hopefully that meant I wouldn't be surrounded by loud and inappropriate patrons that had too much to drink. The drive wasn't too long and Jaq', Emily, and Toby had accompanied me.

The song was called So Fly. It was something that me and Janet had compromised on. It had a bit of an edge, but still pushed my message. She said she'd give me a shot since I wasn't like everyone else and actually fought for what I believed in. She said she admired that, but it's not like I needed to hear that from her. 

I can't help being depressed
When I look down at my chest
Oh yes, my chest it might as well be nonexistent
How can I ever compete With 34 double D's?

And I'm rolling my eyes
When I look down at my thighs
They might as well tape everything that I eat,
to my legs.
I am too broke for the knife
Too lazy to exercise
But if I had hazel eyes
Maybe I could be fly.

If I had no cellulite
Big breasts and pockets real wide
Then maybe I
Maybe I, I,
I could be so fly.
And if I had a small waist
I'd make the boys go insane
And maybe I
maybe I, I,
I could be so fly.
So fly [3x]

Now listen
I've got a beautiful soul
But only 4 people know
They've known me since I was 10
Beauty did not matter then.

Now in my 20's all that matters
Is sex, cars and money
I ain't got none of the three
So basically, I am invisible to all of the fellas
And I sit at home jealous
There was no golden ticket
In my chocolate today.

And worst of all
I'm reminded in the cruelest ways
Of how I don't look and I should look
And that's why I say...

If I had no cellulite
Big breasts and pockets real wide
Then maybe I
Maybe I, I,
I could be so fly.
And if I had a small waist
I'd make the boys go insane
And maybe I
Maybe I, I,
I could be so fly.
So fly [6x]

So basically all I need
Is to be everything but me
Colored contacts
Liposuction
And some implants
Somehow that don't make much sense
I must be out of my head
If I think, that I am governed by material things.

So I decided that I'm
The definition of fly
And if you want to know why
I know what money can't buy
Don't go believing the hype
There's no runway in the sky
And no way you could be fly
not if it costs you a dime.

If I had no cellulite
Big breasts and pockets real wide
Then maybe I
Maybe I, I, I
I could be so fly.
If I had no cellulite
the boys go insane
And maybe I
Maybe I, I,
I could be so fly

The performance was a hit and I managed to get my friends to get up and dance. While Toby was a great model, I can definitely say dancing wasn't his thing, but he danced just for me, for my song and that made me feel so special. Honestly, I was happy to be pushed out of my comfort zone just a bit. This would surely go in my memory book and I'd cherish it forever. It was a rush and it was just fun..a night to remember.

The bar gave us free drinks and food after the show and we took them up on their offer. I also took the time to speak to some of my fans and sign a few autographs. It was still surreal to me to know that people wanted to pay to see me sing. Me, Miranda, when just a decade ago I was singing in the living room for my mom or singing into my hairbrush. Never in a million years did I think my dream would come true, in fact I still pinched myself at times in order to make sure it was all real.

 The highlight of my night was talking to a young lady who told me she had dropped out of school, much to her parents disapproval, in order to become a singer and wanted my advice. I am all for education, even if I didn't go to college myself and I let her know that. I also told her that it's her life and if she truly believes in her dream and is willing to take on the obstacles that will be thrown at her then she should go for it. Her parents will come around, and then again maybe they wouldn't. But this could be a cold and lonely journey and she'd have to learn to be her own cheerleader and push forward. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she ever needed anything. Jaq' thought I was crazy, but she was a fan and I believed in them just as much as they believed and supported me.

"Hey Emily." Toby said over the loud music and chatter. Emily put her glass down and looked in his direction.
"Yeah?" She answered and put one finger in her ear to hear him better.
"You'd say you know Miranda pretty well by now right?" He asked. Emily nodded.
"Yup I think it's safe to say that." She responded. Toby opened his mouth and shut it back. He wanted to say something but wasn't sure how to ask. He took a deep breath, but Emily spoke first.

Emily laughed.
"You like her don't you?" She said. It was a rhetorical question really, the answer was clear. Toby glanced over to Jaq' and Miranda talking not too far away and simply nodded.
"I knew it! Jaq' told me I was crazy, but I say he's just blind." Emily said happily. A small chuckle escaped from Toby.
"It's that obvious?" He inquired.
"Totally." Emily replied. "Are you going to ask her out?" Emily prodded. Toby shrugged.
"I want to, but I don't want to be the rebound guy or make her uncomfortable." He responded truthfully. Emily nodded her head understandingly.
"I know what you mean, but as a lover of love, I say go for it. The worst thing she can say is no." Emily advised.
"And that no would hurt like hell." Toby said softly.

_________________________________________________________________________________

I decided to head back to Jaq's place with everyone. He and Emily headed upstairs and left Toby and I alone. We made our way to the couch and chatted some.

"I almost forgot about your tattoo." Toby remarked. I giggled.
"Yeah..I keep it covered up a lot." I confessed.
"Why?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I'm a little embarrassed of it. I got it when I turned 18 and it was a cocky move on my part and sorta corny. I wanted to be a star so at the time I thought it'd make a cool tat." I explained. Toby nearly exploded with laughter. I pouted playfully and acted as if he hurt my feelings.
"Sorry. It's funny in a cute way." He said. I blushed slightly.

"Your haircut is growing on me." I said changing the subject to him.
"Yeah?" He said and ran his fingers through his hair. "Well if you like it, I love it." He said and winked.
We talked about random things until it was getting a little late. I had to get back to the studio in the morning so I needed to go home.
"Toby it's been fun but I think it's time I head home." I said.
"Oh." Toby said not masking the disappointment in his voice.

Call it liquid courage, but I reached out and lightly grabbed his neck. I turned his head in my direction and kinda held him there. He inched closer to me and I placed my other hand on his knee.
"I'll see you around." I said. I had imagined being in this situation before, but I didn't want to do anything I couldn't take back. As I was about to pull away, Toby wrapped his arm around my waist. To my surprise, he kissed me! My brain was screaming shock, but my mouth had other plans. I kissed him back. And when we broke away we both had a small smile on our faces but didn't say anything.



***I want to thank Reagan Leeds, if it wasn't for her tips then most of this chapter wouldn't have been possible! And this chapter was pretty fun to do. At first it was going to be really short and then my game crashed and it was just going to cover the club parts, but I'm glad I added the rest now. Thanks to everyone taking the time to read and comment on my story. I really do appreciate it. And It will be coming to an end soon, but I'm really going to miss these guys. I've truly come to love Miranda, Jaq', Emily and Toby I love when they are all together.