Chapter Twenty-eight: Back on stage

Today was the day, the big day. I would step on stage for the first time in about three months. To say the very thought had me shaking and scared, was understatement. I was terrified. It was as if I was a newbie just starting out all over again. But I had to shove that negativity aside and focus on putting on a good show. After all, no one wants to see performer stumbling and stuttering on stage, surely that'd put an end to my career.

Abby was busy and unable to do my makeup last minute, so my new "stylist" Lacey filled in for her. I have to say it wasn't a pleasant experience. It was as if she was working on a doll with her pulling my face in all types of directions. She apologized about a dozen times, but it didn't take away the stinging pain. Thankfully, the process ended and I didn't look half bad. The bright purple/pink lip was new to me, but it wasn't too dramatic. And I actually loved my hair. We decided to go back to black with a touch of blonde on the ends.

I was debuting my new song at a club called Level 4. It was a nice establishment, clean and kind of upscale. Hopefully that meant I wouldn't be surrounded by loud and inappropriate patrons that had too much to drink. The drive wasn't too long and Jaq', Emily, and Toby had accompanied me.

The song was called So Fly. It was something that me and Janet had compromised on. It had a bit of an edge, but still pushed my message. She said she'd give me a shot since I wasn't like everyone else and actually fought for what I believed in. She said she admired that, but it's not like I needed to hear that from her. 

I can't help being depressed
When I look down at my chest
Oh yes, my chest it might as well be nonexistent
How can I ever compete With 34 double D's?

And I'm rolling my eyes
When I look down at my thighs
They might as well tape everything that I eat,
to my legs.
I am too broke for the knife
Too lazy to exercise
But if I had hazel eyes
Maybe I could be fly.

If I had no cellulite
Big breasts and pockets real wide
Then maybe I
Maybe I, I,
I could be so fly.
And if I had a small waist
I'd make the boys go insane
And maybe I
maybe I, I,
I could be so fly.
So fly [3x]

Now listen
I've got a beautiful soul
But only 4 people know
They've known me since I was 10
Beauty did not matter then.

Now in my 20's all that matters
Is sex, cars and money
I ain't got none of the three
So basically, I am invisible to all of the fellas
And I sit at home jealous
There was no golden ticket
In my chocolate today.

And worst of all
I'm reminded in the cruelest ways
Of how I don't look and I should look
And that's why I say...

If I had no cellulite
Big breasts and pockets real wide
Then maybe I
Maybe I, I,
I could be so fly.
And if I had a small waist
I'd make the boys go insane
And maybe I
Maybe I, I,
I could be so fly.
So fly [6x]

So basically all I need
Is to be everything but me
Colored contacts
Liposuction
And some implants
Somehow that don't make much sense
I must be out of my head
If I think, that I am governed by material things.

So I decided that I'm
The definition of fly
And if you want to know why
I know what money can't buy
Don't go believing the hype
There's no runway in the sky
And no way you could be fly
not if it costs you a dime.

If I had no cellulite
Big breasts and pockets real wide
Then maybe I
Maybe I, I, I
I could be so fly.
If I had no cellulite
the boys go insane
And maybe I
Maybe I, I,
I could be so fly

The performance was a hit and I managed to get my friends to get up and dance. While Toby was a great model, I can definitely say dancing wasn't his thing, but he danced just for me, for my song and that made me feel so special. Honestly, I was happy to be pushed out of my comfort zone just a bit. This would surely go in my memory book and I'd cherish it forever. It was a rush and it was just fun..a night to remember.

The bar gave us free drinks and food after the show and we took them up on their offer. I also took the time to speak to some of my fans and sign a few autographs. It was still surreal to me to know that people wanted to pay to see me sing. Me, Miranda, when just a decade ago I was singing in the living room for my mom or singing into my hairbrush. Never in a million years did I think my dream would come true, in fact I still pinched myself at times in order to make sure it was all real.

 The highlight of my night was talking to a young lady who told me she had dropped out of school, much to her parents disapproval, in order to become a singer and wanted my advice. I am all for education, even if I didn't go to college myself and I let her know that. I also told her that it's her life and if she truly believes in her dream and is willing to take on the obstacles that will be thrown at her then she should go for it. Her parents will come around, and then again maybe they wouldn't. But this could be a cold and lonely journey and she'd have to learn to be her own cheerleader and push forward. I gave her my number and told her to call me if she ever needed anything. Jaq' thought I was crazy, but she was a fan and I believed in them just as much as they believed and supported me.

"Hey Emily." Toby said over the loud music and chatter. Emily put her glass down and looked in his direction.
"Yeah?" She answered and put one finger in her ear to hear him better.
"You'd say you know Miranda pretty well by now right?" He asked. Emily nodded.
"Yup I think it's safe to say that." She responded. Toby opened his mouth and shut it back. He wanted to say something but wasn't sure how to ask. He took a deep breath, but Emily spoke first.

Emily laughed.
"You like her don't you?" She said. It was a rhetorical question really, the answer was clear. Toby glanced over to Jaq' and Miranda talking not too far away and simply nodded.
"I knew it! Jaq' told me I was crazy, but I say he's just blind." Emily said happily. A small chuckle escaped from Toby.
"It's that obvious?" He inquired.
"Totally." Emily replied. "Are you going to ask her out?" Emily prodded. Toby shrugged.
"I want to, but I don't want to be the rebound guy or make her uncomfortable." He responded truthfully. Emily nodded her head understandingly.
"I know what you mean, but as a lover of love, I say go for it. The worst thing she can say is no." Emily advised.
"And that no would hurt like hell." Toby said softly.

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I decided to head back to Jaq's place with everyone. He and Emily headed upstairs and left Toby and I alone. We made our way to the couch and chatted some.

"I almost forgot about your tattoo." Toby remarked. I giggled.
"Yeah..I keep it covered up a lot." I confessed.
"Why?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I'm a little embarrassed of it. I got it when I turned 18 and it was a cocky move on my part and sorta corny. I wanted to be a star so at the time I thought it'd make a cool tat." I explained. Toby nearly exploded with laughter. I pouted playfully and acted as if he hurt my feelings.
"Sorry. It's funny in a cute way." He said. I blushed slightly.

"Your haircut is growing on me." I said changing the subject to him.
"Yeah?" He said and ran his fingers through his hair. "Well if you like it, I love it." He said and winked.
We talked about random things until it was getting a little late. I had to get back to the studio in the morning so I needed to go home.
"Toby it's been fun but I think it's time I head home." I said.
"Oh." Toby said not masking the disappointment in his voice.

Call it liquid courage, but I reached out and lightly grabbed his neck. I turned his head in my direction and kinda held him there. He inched closer to me and I placed my other hand on his knee.
"I'll see you around." I said. I had imagined being in this situation before, but I didn't want to do anything I couldn't take back. As I was about to pull away, Toby wrapped his arm around my waist. To my surprise, he kissed me! My brain was screaming shock, but my mouth had other plans. I kissed him back. And when we broke away we both had a small smile on our faces but didn't say anything.



***I want to thank Reagan Leeds, if it wasn't for her tips then most of this chapter wouldn't have been possible! And this chapter was pretty fun to do. At first it was going to be really short and then my game crashed and it was just going to cover the club parts, but I'm glad I added the rest now. Thanks to everyone taking the time to read and comment on my story. I really do appreciate it. And It will be coming to an end soon, but I'm really going to miss these guys. I've truly come to love Miranda, Jaq', Emily and Toby I love when they are all together.

Chapter Twenty-seven: Passing time

**Warning: Adult situations ahead, don't read if you're under 18

JOSHUA'S POV

After Annalese was born, I had spent my time between work, working out and coming home just in time to put her to sleep. I know Mimi suspected other things were going on, but they weren't, not yet anyways. I just didn't want to be home around her. I couldn't get our fight out of my head. It tore me apart knowing something could have happened to Annalese because of my lack of control over my anger.

If something had happened I wouldn't be able to live with myself. So being around Mimi just drudged up those memories and all I could see was the fear and pain in her eyes. Pumping iron and trying to find life changing cures was a good time filler though. And seeing my little angel before I went to sleep was the highlight of my day. This had went on for about a week.

And that was when I saw her. I had taken the day off and set out to hit the gym when I saw someone I had never seen before. I knew she wasn't from around here because she wasn't tan enough. All I knew is that I had a sudden interest in her and had to know her name. But it seemed like I wasn't the only one who wanted to be apart of the welcome committee. Someone always managed to pull her away before I could get the chance.

Well that was going to change, now. It was Wednesday and I had taken the day off again. It was pretty early in the day and I didn't expect her to be there yet; I just wanted to make sure I was the first one to talk to her. But it appeared that she was an early bird because she beat me inside. That wasn't all bad though. I enjoyed watching her walk.

I didn't know what I enjoyed more, seeing her in her workout attire or watching her bounce up and down on the treadmill. Actually I think it was a tie. I made sure to snatch up the treadmill beside her and increase the speed. No harm in giving her a show I had thought. It seemed to do the trick because I caught her sneaking glances my way when she thought I wasn't looking.

Apparently she was paying too much attention to me and lost her grip. She tried to catch herself but she was too late. Before I knew it she had fell and her face was introduced to the treadmill. It didn't look pretty and I couldn't help but to cringe. Embarrassed, she rose to her feet as quick as possible and tried to leave. Perfect timing I thought as I went to follow her.

I stepped in front of her just in the nick of time.
"Hello." I said and extended my hand out. She looked confused and nervous for a moment before mumbling a hello back and accepting my hand.
"You okay?" I asked and looked at her face. She looked towards the ground and simply nodded.
"Hey it happens to the best of us." I assured her. She smiled briefly. "But be careful, we wouldn't want you harming that pretty face now would we?" I added.

It didn't take much effort to get her to open up. I learned a few things about her. Her name was Aria and I had correctly guessed that she was a new resident of Starlight Shores. As we got to know each other some more she announced that I looked familiar and recalled seeing me in a few magazines with Miranda. I thought my chance was blown. She would call me a cheating asshole, probably slap me and then walk away. But she surprised me, she stayed. And you know what else? She didn't reject me flirting with her either. Maybe my failed relationship could be used to my advantage.

I don't know how I did it, but I had somehow convinced her to come over. Thankfully, Mimi had taken Annalese to see her parents this morning. I wasn't happy with her traveling with her so soon, but now I was grateful; it meant that I had the house to myself.

I directed her upstairs and pointed in the direction of the bedroom. She was hesitant at first, but entered nevertheless. I followed close behind her and saw something on the dresser had caught her attention. The diapers, damn it I thought.
"You have a baby." She stated as she reached down to scratch her wrist.
"Yes." I answered. Silence took over and she remained standing there and scratching her wrist. I cleared my throat and she turned around.

"Does that bother you?" I wondered, She shook her head saying no. I took the opportunity to try to kiss her. Bad idea that was. She leaned back and playfully pushed me away with a laugh.
"Joshua..I just met you." She said.

"Yet here you are. In my bedroom." I reminded her. That threw her off a bit. I stepped closer to her and closed the distance she had put between us. I wrapped my arm around her waist to insure that she'd stay put. She inhaled sharply.

I smiled. I knew that would stop her innocent act. She wanted me as bad as I wanted her. I teased her by hovering my mouth dangerously close to hers. She closed her eyes as if preparing to be kissed. Not yet I thought.
"You want to kiss me?" I asked. She gulped and I could feel her heart beat increase. I moved even closer to her lips but was careful not to kiss her.
"Do you?" I repeated. She nodded.

And that was a good enough answer for me. I quickly stripped us both of most of our clothing and drew her into my arms again. I kissed her and she moaned into my mouth. Her tongue darted into my mouth to explore, but instead I sucked on it. Her eyes shot open briefly in mild shock, but they were closed again and I saw a smile creep across her face.

We fell back onto the bed and I laid nearby her. She traced my muscles with her fingers and giggled softly. I returned the favor by caressing her ass before tugging her underwear off. She didn't put up any resistance. She even helped me by removing her bra.
"Good girl." I told her. She smiled as if I had really gave her a compliment. Before I went any further with her, I felt that it was only right for me to be honest with her. After all, lying had never worked out for me.
"Aria." I said. She raised her eyebrows and waited for me to continue.
"I have a fiance'.." I told her. I all but held my breath as I waited for her response.
"So." Came her reply. I smiled down at her. At least she could never say I didn't tell her. I learned down and kissed her again.

Our clothes were now completely off and they laid in a heap on the floor. Aria had sat up and climbed on top of me, just short of my penis. I guided her hand towards my open mouth and begin to seductively suck on it. She bit her lips while she brought her other hand down to my penis. It had sprung up in anticipation and she took hold of it. She began to stroke me slowly but would stop to swirl her thumb around the tip.

Faster her hands worked and her finger had slipped out of my mouth. I threw my head back and enjoyed her handiwork. Before she went too far, I pushed her hand away. I lifted her up slightly and brought her down onto my awaiting dick. She moaned as more and more of me entered her. She begin to ride me and I thrust upwards in sync with her. We kept this up until she was nearing an orgasm. She eagerly kissed me and bounced faster up and down. My thrusts increased as well until I felt her tightening around me and then her juices flowing. Before I let myself cum, I asked if she was on the pill. She said yes, and I hope she wasn't lying. I trusted her and let myself go inside of her. We kissed some more before I felt myself going limp and she climbed off of me.

Content and spent, we made our way under the covers and slept. My last thoughts before sleep overcame me was that I hoped Mimi didn't leave her parent's house early and that I prayed Aria was really on the pill; It was no way Annalese was becoming a big sister anytime soon.

Chapter Twenty-six: Annalese Thomas

Mimi's POV

To date that fight was the worst I ever had with anyone. Joshua had tried to console me to no avail. I started crying and shaking and just wouldn't stop. Joshua tried to hold me and rub my back and told me he was sorry about a million times, but again it didn't help. I had entered a stage of extreme distress and I didn't know when it would stop.

I knew this wasn't good for the baby or I, but it was like I couldn't stop. Well my body couldn't take much more of this and I began to feel cramps in my lower abdomen. Joshua's face was full of concern and worry and this just made me stress more. I couldn't calm down and I was harming the baby. Joshua finally pulled out his phone and called the doctor. We were told to come in immediately.

Joshua drove as fast as he could to get us to the hospital. That wasn't exactly helpful because I feared we would crash from bobbing and weaving through traffic. We made it to the hospital in one piece. I was quickly rushed to a hospital room where a nurse asked me a dozen questions that I was too frantic to answer. They tried giving me water and have me walk around the room, but nothing worked. I was still cramping and I had started to feel contractions.

The doctor finally came in and announced that I would be delivering the baby that night. Although my due date wasn't that far away I was still worried. What if something happened to her? What if she didn't make it? It would all be my fault! And I would never be able to forgive myself.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Three days later and we were allowed to bring our bundle of joy home. The delivery started off rocky, but it was a success. They were able to deliver her with little to no complications. We named her Annalese. Originally she was to be named Anna, after Joshua's grandma, but I felt it was too old for a baby. We compromised and agreed on Annalese.

_________________________________________________________________________________

I wish I could say everything was just fine and that we were one big happy family, but that would be a big, fat lie. It seemed like after the baby was born, Joshua wanted to be anywhere but home. He said he was working overtime because they were close to discovering something. I didn't believe that, but I couldn't lock him up and force him to stay home.

Annalese was a good baby for the most part. She didn't cry more than your average newborn and a bottle, a bath and a clean diaper made her content. Sure some nights weren't easy, but I expected that. My biggest problem was the loneliness I felt. Many nights after Annalese was asleep I found myself cuddling up to a carton of ice cream. It didn't do anything other than add unwanted calories to my diet, but I told myself it made me feel better.

After my ice cream I would make my way upstairs to my bedroom. I say my because Joshua was rarely in it. I would cry in order to tire myself out. Soon exhaustion would take over and I'd do it all over again tomorrow.
_________________________________________________________________________________

To say Joshua was a bad father was a lie I couldn't tell. He was a great dad, when he was home. He spent every moment with her. He'd take her from my arms if I couldn't console her and it was like her tears stopped instantly. Sometimes I would be a little jealous. I did most of the work and he just came in and swooped her up. But as long as she was happy then that's all that really matter. Two weeks of this behavior went by. And I couldn't turn a blind eye to this worsening situation. My affair with the ice cream had to stop; my waistline told me so. And I was tired of putting a cold rag on my puffy eyes every morning.

Needless to say a fight irrupted. Not a big as the fight we had when Annalese was born, but it came pretty close. I let him have it. I told him that I would not be a single mother any longer and he'd have to have his butt home more. Our daughter needed him, and I needed him. We were suppose to be a family but what we had said otherwise. Of course he played dumb and denied trying to stay out on purpose. I didn't let him off the hook. I told him to fix this or he wouldn't have a family to come home to. And I meant every word.

I awoke the next day to find a single pink rose in a vase on my night stand. I brushed it off. A flower wasn't him staying home more. And a flower couldn't hold me at night. No he had to change. I continued to give him the cold shoulder and even threw his gift away. I guess he got the message.

(So Ignore Annalese's death stare. I didn't realize this was a pose for a baby when they are still newborns until after I had taken the pictures for this chapter. So I had to make it work or try to lol)

It was almost Christmas and Joshua had done a 360. He had brought a tree and a couple of decorations. I was happy. He seemed to be changing, but I hoped it continued.

JOSHUA'S POV

My phone started to vibrate in my pocket when I was trying to enjoy spending time with Mimi and Annalese. I excused myself and walked outside to answer it. Mimi looked at me with questioning eyes, but I assured her it was my boss. That probably upset her more, but she went back to playing with Annalese.

I had lied, it was not my boss.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Joshua? Finally you pick up." The voice said. I suppressed a frustrated sigh.
"I told you not to call me when I'm home." I replied.
"I know but I missed you." They said. I shook my head.
"I don't care! I'm with my family." I yelled.
"Joshua.." The voice whined.
"I'm sorry. I just needed to hear your voice." They finished.
"And I told you I needed to be with my family. You have to respect that." I said. "I'll call you later ok? Don't call me." I instructed. They agreed.
"Can you tell me you love me before you go?" They pleaded.
"I..can't do that." I answered.
"Just say it please. I don't care if you don't mean it." They begged.
"I love you." I said flatly.
"Like you mean it." They said. "Please." I sighed inwardly.
"I love you ok? I really love you and If it wasn't for my daughter then I'd be with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and only you." I lied. That had better do I thought. I heard her sigh happily on the phone. She thanked me before hanging up. I shoved my phone back in my pocket before heading back inside.

"What did he want?" Mimi asked as soon as I shut the door behind me. I could see that Annalese wasn't in the room. I assumed she had put her down for a nap.
"Nothing important." I replied. She seemed satisfied enough with my answer. I took the opportunity to pull her into my arms.
"I love you. You know that right?" I told her.
"Prove it." She challenged. And with those words I pulled her closer to me and kissed her passionately.

***So if the ending confused anyone, I will explain. After their big fight Joshua realized something. He isn't over Miranda and doesn't think he will ever be. But he wants to do the right thing still for his family. He isn't going to leave Mimi because she is having his child/ had his child. And he doesn't want Annalese to grow up in a broken home. So his mindset now is "If you can't have the one you love, then love the one you're with (or pretend to). Also..he wants to have his cake and eat it too.