Chapter Twenty-six: Annalese Thomas

Mimi's POV

To date that fight was the worst I ever had with anyone. Joshua had tried to console me to no avail. I started crying and shaking and just wouldn't stop. Joshua tried to hold me and rub my back and told me he was sorry about a million times, but again it didn't help. I had entered a stage of extreme distress and I didn't know when it would stop.

I knew this wasn't good for the baby or I, but it was like I couldn't stop. Well my body couldn't take much more of this and I began to feel cramps in my lower abdomen. Joshua's face was full of concern and worry and this just made me stress more. I couldn't calm down and I was harming the baby. Joshua finally pulled out his phone and called the doctor. We were told to come in immediately.

Joshua drove as fast as he could to get us to the hospital. That wasn't exactly helpful because I feared we would crash from bobbing and weaving through traffic. We made it to the hospital in one piece. I was quickly rushed to a hospital room where a nurse asked me a dozen questions that I was too frantic to answer. They tried giving me water and have me walk around the room, but nothing worked. I was still cramping and I had started to feel contractions.

The doctor finally came in and announced that I would be delivering the baby that night. Although my due date wasn't that far away I was still worried. What if something happened to her? What if she didn't make it? It would all be my fault! And I would never be able to forgive myself.

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Three days later and we were allowed to bring our bundle of joy home. The delivery started off rocky, but it was a success. They were able to deliver her with little to no complications. We named her Annalese. Originally she was to be named Anna, after Joshua's grandma, but I felt it was too old for a baby. We compromised and agreed on Annalese.

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I wish I could say everything was just fine and that we were one big happy family, but that would be a big, fat lie. It seemed like after the baby was born, Joshua wanted to be anywhere but home. He said he was working overtime because they were close to discovering something. I didn't believe that, but I couldn't lock him up and force him to stay home.

Annalese was a good baby for the most part. She didn't cry more than your average newborn and a bottle, a bath and a clean diaper made her content. Sure some nights weren't easy, but I expected that. My biggest problem was the loneliness I felt. Many nights after Annalese was asleep I found myself cuddling up to a carton of ice cream. It didn't do anything other than add unwanted calories to my diet, but I told myself it made me feel better.

After my ice cream I would make my way upstairs to my bedroom. I say my because Joshua was rarely in it. I would cry in order to tire myself out. Soon exhaustion would take over and I'd do it all over again tomorrow.
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To say Joshua was a bad father was a lie I couldn't tell. He was a great dad, when he was home. He spent every moment with her. He'd take her from my arms if I couldn't console her and it was like her tears stopped instantly. Sometimes I would be a little jealous. I did most of the work and he just came in and swooped her up. But as long as she was happy then that's all that really matter. Two weeks of this behavior went by. And I couldn't turn a blind eye to this worsening situation. My affair with the ice cream had to stop; my waistline told me so. And I was tired of putting a cold rag on my puffy eyes every morning.

Needless to say a fight irrupted. Not a big as the fight we had when Annalese was born, but it came pretty close. I let him have it. I told him that I would not be a single mother any longer and he'd have to have his butt home more. Our daughter needed him, and I needed him. We were suppose to be a family but what we had said otherwise. Of course he played dumb and denied trying to stay out on purpose. I didn't let him off the hook. I told him to fix this or he wouldn't have a family to come home to. And I meant every word.

I awoke the next day to find a single pink rose in a vase on my night stand. I brushed it off. A flower wasn't him staying home more. And a flower couldn't hold me at night. No he had to change. I continued to give him the cold shoulder and even threw his gift away. I guess he got the message.

(So Ignore Annalese's death stare. I didn't realize this was a pose for a baby when they are still newborns until after I had taken the pictures for this chapter. So I had to make it work or try to lol)

It was almost Christmas and Joshua had done a 360. He had brought a tree and a couple of decorations. I was happy. He seemed to be changing, but I hoped it continued.

JOSHUA'S POV

My phone started to vibrate in my pocket when I was trying to enjoy spending time with Mimi and Annalese. I excused myself and walked outside to answer it. Mimi looked at me with questioning eyes, but I assured her it was my boss. That probably upset her more, but she went back to playing with Annalese.

I had lied, it was not my boss.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Joshua? Finally you pick up." The voice said. I suppressed a frustrated sigh.
"I told you not to call me when I'm home." I replied.
"I know but I missed you." They said. I shook my head.
"I don't care! I'm with my family." I yelled.
"Joshua.." The voice whined.
"I'm sorry. I just needed to hear your voice." They finished.
"And I told you I needed to be with my family. You have to respect that." I said. "I'll call you later ok? Don't call me." I instructed. They agreed.
"Can you tell me you love me before you go?" They pleaded.
"I..can't do that." I answered.
"Just say it please. I don't care if you don't mean it." They begged.
"I love you." I said flatly.
"Like you mean it." They said. "Please." I sighed inwardly.
"I love you ok? I really love you and If it wasn't for my daughter then I'd be with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and only you." I lied. That had better do I thought. I heard her sigh happily on the phone. She thanked me before hanging up. I shoved my phone back in my pocket before heading back inside.

"What did he want?" Mimi asked as soon as I shut the door behind me. I could see that Annalese wasn't in the room. I assumed she had put her down for a nap.
"Nothing important." I replied. She seemed satisfied enough with my answer. I took the opportunity to pull her into my arms.
"I love you. You know that right?" I told her.
"Prove it." She challenged. And with those words I pulled her closer to me and kissed her passionately.

***So if the ending confused anyone, I will explain. After their big fight Joshua realized something. He isn't over Miranda and doesn't think he will ever be. But he wants to do the right thing still for his family. He isn't going to leave Mimi because she is having his child/ had his child. And he doesn't want Annalese to grow up in a broken home. So his mindset now is "If you can't have the one you love, then love the one you're with (or pretend to). Also..he wants to have his cake and eat it too.