Chapter Seven: Big girls don't cry

Lonely, heart broken and confused was how Miranda felt. Never had she ever felt this broken. Sure she had been lied to before and cheated on, but it was nothing compared to this. This time she was betrayed in the worst way. As she left her home, which felt like only moments ago, she found herself headed to the one place where she could think. The beach. Her home away from her, her escape.

Miranda stood on the beach, heels and all and just stared ahead. The water looked so peaceful and the air felt cool against her skin. She was grateful no one was there. No one to see her at this dark time to go and report to the media. No cameras, no questions, just her and the beach. 

What am I going to do?

Should I just leave?

Do I go back and confront him, again?

Can I stay here forever?

What if this gets out to the media?

Why can't I just be happy?

Why me?

Question after question ran through her mind. Questions, but no answers. A part of her wanted to stay and a part of her wanted to run. Running its what she did best. It was always her way out of trouble. Would she run all of her life? Run away from her problems? No, she couldn't. She wouldn't. Today was the day she'd stopped running, stop crying and face her problems head on. She was a big girl, an adult, and big girls didn't cry. Big girls "woman-ed up" and dealt with life. 

Miranda: "Yup, it's time to go home." she told herself firmly. She turned to walk away and headed home. 

Twenty minutes or so later she found herself back at the place she just ran from. Back home and ready to face her problems. Ready to fix her relationship or to let it go, it would all be decided after she stepped foot in her home. 

As she stepped inside her eyes immediately found the slumped over figure in the chair. It was Joshua. She slowly approached him. Fighting tears and the urge to leave. Fighting the urge to attack him also. His cries grew louder as she approached him. She could hear him asking himself questions aloud. What had he done? Why was he so stupid? Would Miranda ever come back? Could she forgive him? 

Miranda: "Joshua" She said softly. Joshua had heard the voice, but he knew it wasn't her. It was his mind playing tricks on him or at least that's what he thought. And hearing that only caused him to cry harder. 

Miranda: "Joshua" She repeated a little louder. Joshua shook his head. He wouldn't look up. He wouldn't let his mind have that power over him, to trick him. Miranda grew tired of this and took a few steps towards him. Joshua heard the sound but again he thought it was his mind and shook it off. 

Miranda reached for him and brought his face up to meet hers. 

Miranda: "It's really me. I did come back." She said. Joshua looked up puzzled. 

Joshua: "Miranda?" He questioned. She nodded. He swallowed hard. He couldn't believe she was there, that she had came back. Did this mean she had forgiven him? Or maybe she had came to say good-bye? 

Miranda: "Get up." She demanded. He nodded and stood upon his feet. 

Joshua: "Miranda I am so sorry." He began to explain. "I love you so much and I never meant to hurt you." He continued. "You didn't deserve what we did to you, the affair, the lies..I'm sorry." Miranda nodded along as he apologized. She already planned on hearing this but a few sorries wouldn't go back in time to stop what happened. 

Miranda:"Please stop." She said finally. He immediately shut up.

Miranda: "I know you're sorry and I truly believe you. I do. But it still hurts! How would you feel if I told you I screwed your best friend days before our wedding?! Would you forgive me and welcome me back with open arms?" She yelled. All he could so was shake his head, he was afraid to say anything at the moment. 

Miranda: "You have no idea the crap I've been dealing with lately. Performing concerts, giving interviews and trying to find my family. Finding out everything I thought was true about my parents was a lie. Finding out I'm adopted and knowing the one person who could give me some answers is dead and I'd have to get them myself. All of this was going on but I didn't let it show. I kept it in and dealt with it all my on my own. And when I was ready to let you in, your father tells me this shit. I mean your father of all people! You didn't even have the balls to do it!" She went on. 

Joshua: "I had no idea." He said at last. "You should have told me" He said.

Hearing that made Miranda break. For a moment she forgot all about the cheating and the affair. All she could think about was her family. She felt unwanted all over again. Why had her parents abandoned her? Why had the woman who raised her lied? Why? Joshua noticed the sudden change in her face and his heart broke for her. She had enough burdens and he had added to it. He hated himself even more. 

Despite what was going on with their relationship, he knew she needed him. He walked towards her to give her a hug and tell her that everything would be okay. She tensed up. 

Miranda: "No don't touch me." She said and started walking back. He ignored her protest. He wouldn't let her push him away, not when she was so broken. 

He was right. She needed him, needed someone. She had went too long battling everything on her own. It was time she let someone help, even if that someone had just broken her heart.

Joshua: "We'll fix this." He promised. "We'll make it right again." He said. She nodded and held onto his every word. She hoped he was right, she needed him to be right. When their embrace ended he led her to the sofa. She didn't protest. 

She laid in his lap and felt a little better. Her heart still heart, her mind spinning but a little slower now. Some small weight was lifted off her shoulders and she felt like she could breathe again. She knew everything wasn't fixed nor perfect. But slowly it would be. She'd be whole again and she would be able to trust Joshua. Maybe someday they'd even walk down the aisle. As she laid on his lap and he held her hand, he promised things would get better. He promised that from this day forward, they'd face their problems together. There would be no more secrets either. Just honesty and love and she nodded along to his promises. He even suggested therapy but she firmly disagreed. She didn't want some stranger prodding in her life. Asking questions and trying to be in her head. She agreed to be more open about issues with him, but they had to work it out. Only them, no one else. 

Chapter Six: Heart break

Joshua awoke the next day. Memories of last night flashed through his mind. He sighed as he listened to the shower run in the bathroom a few feet away. Miranda, he thought. He slid to the side of the bed and was about to go downstairs, to wait for her and to tell her the dreaded confession. But luck would have it another way. As he got towards the door, his phone rung. 

"Work". He read aloud. He reluctantly answered, almost too late. His boss demanded he come in right away. He tried to get out of it but the other man wasn't buying it. He gave up and said he was on his way. Quickly he had gotten dressed and out the door. Miranda came into the bedroom shortly after to discover the bed made and Joshua gone. She saw a badly written note that read "Work emergency". She shrugged threw it away and headed downstairs. The smell of food cooking immediately filled her nostrils. Her mouth watered just a bit. As her foot touched the floor, she saw Joshua's parents in the kitchen and his mother at the stove. She headed in their direction. 

Miranda: "Good Morning". She spoke as she edged closer to the food being prepared. Joshua's mother smiled at her and told her to have a seat. She happily obliged.  

Once seated she couldn't help but state at Willie, sitting in front of her. It was odd, he was a quiet man but he  still managed small talk. He was just sitting there reading that newspaper like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Miranda was just about to strike conversation when Mrs. Thomas chastised her husband for being rude. 

He placed the paper on the table to the left of him. He cleared his throat before he spoke. 

Willie: "Sorry dear I didn't see you." He said. Really? Miranda wanted to say. She shook her head in her head. On the outside she nodded and asked how he slept last night. 

Willie: "Just fine." He said. "It seems as though you took the news well" he said, looking in her face. Miranda's mind instantly changed from annoyed to confused. News? What news? This Willie noticed. 

Willie: "You mean he didn't tell you?" He inquired. Miranda shook her head, growing annoyed again. 

Miranda: "It'd help if you could be a little more specific." She pointed out. 

Willie: "It's not my business." He said and was about to pick up his paper again.

Miranda: "No no no". Miranda said. "Mr. Thomas, you can not do that!" She yelled, not caring that she raised her voice at her future father-in-law. "What are you getting at?" She noticed the shocked expression he wore and the gasp from his wife. She apologized and lowered her voice and asked again, nicely this time. He sighed. He told her everything. He told her how his son slept with her best friend mistakenly and kept it a secret. He also told her that he was suppose to tell her last night but he obviously did not. Miranda took the news in and went through a roller coaster of emotions. She felt betrayed by the two people she cared about and loved the most. She felt pissed because they hide it from her. She felt used because Joshua slept with her instead of telling her the truth. She also felt heart broken. Tears began to form in her eyes and she no longer wanted to sit at the table. She excused herself. 

She said nothing further and left for her bedroom where she'd cry her eyes out. Willie looked up at her as she left. He felt happy that she knew but also pained to be the bearer of bad news. His wife had finished cooking and was just standing there. Once Miranda had retreated upstairs, Carol made her way over to her husband. 

Carol: "Are you crazy?!" She yelled. His usually quiet wife was not so quiet now. He hadn't seen her look this pissed since Joshua was five and he smeared paint all over her good jewelry. 

Willie: "It had to be done." He said in his defense. 

Carol: "You should never have opened your mouth! Look what you've done." She continued. 

Carol continued to yell until she looked like she was ready to pounce on him. Willie put his hands up in defense and apologized again. She shook her head and stormed off. 

Later that day

Joshua's parents packed up after "breakfast" and didn't say a word to Miranda. She remained locked in her room until she came downstairs. It was almost time for Joshua to get off and she was waiting on the sofa. As she laid there, she allowed that morning's news play through her mind. Before she knew it, she had closed her eyes and dozed off. 

An hour or so later Joshua came in and found her sleeping peacefully. He smiled at her, until he noticed the dried tissues around her gathered on the floor. Maybe she's sick? He thought. He went over to carry her upstairs so she could rest comfortably. She woke up suddenly. It took her a moment to realize he was standing in front of her. She suddenly sat up and slide over so he could sit down. He shrugged and sat down.  He sat next to her, or tried to, she slide further away. 

He looked at her, noticing something was off. 

Joshua: "Something wrong?" He asked. Miranda wanted to blow up. She wanted to scream, throw things, kick his ass, but she didn't. In a small voice, like someone with a crushed soul, she spoke. 

Miranda: "Just tell me, please, is it true?" She asked as her voice broke. Oh shit he thought, he immediately knew what she was referring to. He knew his father must have told her. He sighed and nodded his head. She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. She didn't want an explanation. Not now, she couldn't bear to hear the details. She rose and pointed towards the door. 

Miranda: "Get out." She said firmly. Joshua quickly began to try to explain, he needed her to hear him out but she wasn't having it. He had managed to get on his knees. 

Joshua: "Please just hear me out." He pleaded. She shook her head and put her hand up to silence him.

Miranda: "Either you go or I do."

Joshua: "No. I'm not leaving until we work this out. Please forgive me." He cried. Miranda turned towards the door. Once outside, she let her tears flow again. Joshua wanted to follow her, but he knew she needed some time. He watched out the door and she started to run down the stairs and clutch herself. 

Miranda: "Why Joshua?" She asked. 

Chapter Five: Parental Advice [Cont'd]

**Warning: 18+, Adult/sexual situations in this chapter**

Miranda turned around slowly and smiled in his direction. She didn't know he had been watching her or for how long. She began to walk inside.

Joshua had been contemplating running away before she turned around but it was too late for that now. Tonight was the night he'd confess. Tonight was the night his life would fall apart and it was all his fault. 

Miranda walked up to him, still smiling. Although her week started off bad, it would end on a good note. On Friday she and Joshua would be married and some parts of her life were coming together. She brought her hand up to his cheek and gently caressed it. In response, he put his hand over hers and leaned his head into her palm. The sweet moment lasted only but a second before Joshua removed her hand.

Joshua: "I need to talk to you about something." He began. Miranda could tell he had something serious on his mind but at the moment she didn't care. She nodded along but she wasn't interested. She had something else in mind tonight and it did not involve talking. 

Joshua: "It's really important." He said.

He was just about to open his mouth again but this time Miranda spoke.

Miranda: "Look I'm sure whatever you want to tell me is important, but it can wait until tomorrow." He replied. Stunned, Joshua closed his mouth. This could not wait until tomorrow he had put it off long enough! He shook his head.

Joshua: "No it really can't. I need to tell you this now." He pleaded 

Miranda ignored his pleas and closed the space between them. "Shh" she said and put her finger over his mouth. 

Miranda: "Not tonight okay?" She said softly. He nodded. The look in her eyes told him she was going to win this battle. He would keep the secret for one more night. And maybe this was a good thing, he could make love to her one last time before their lives would be shattered and she'd never want to see him again.

Joshua: "Okay." He agreed. Miranda completely closed the space between him and wrapped him in her arms. She didn't care what he had to tell her. All she cared about was making love to him. She brought her lips to his and kissed him passionately. How long had it been since they'd been intimate anyways? Too long. She missed this, missed being in his arms, missed kissing him. "Well I after this I won't have to miss anything." She thought. Joshua pressed her body closer to his. He held her like it would be the last time because it very well could be. He wanted to remember her this way, so he held her tight and long as if their embrace would be imprinted in his mind. Miranda wrapped her arm over his head and brought her tongue close to his ear. She licked it slowly and he moaned softly.

"I love you." He said as his breathing increased, "I love you so much." He said. Miranda nodded and began to take off his clothes, he began to take hers off as well. Soon they were stripped down to their underwear and Miranda was on top of Joshua. 

Miranda leaned over Joshua and kissed him deeply. Soft moans of pleasure escaped their mouths. Joshua reached down to finish undressing himself and Miranda followed suit. Once they were fully naked their bodies connected once more. Joshua lifted her up and began to lower her onto his waiting penis slowly. She gasped as he entered her inch by inch. "Oh yeah, I missed this badly" She thought. Joshua began thrusting slowly at first. He didn't want to rush this, he needed to savor every moment. Miranda urged him to go faster and to stop teasing her. This time he shh'd her and continued to go at his pace. When it looked like she was getting annoyed he smiled and picked up speed. She smiled back and kissed him as he continued to thrust deep inside her, faster and faster. It wasn't long before they both climaxed and were laying next to each other. They kissed and cuddled for a while. Suddenly Joshua remembered his parents were resting in the guest room not too far from them and suggested they go upstairs. Miranda nodded and took his hand as they headed for their bedroom.

Chapter Five: Parental advice

Miranda recovered shortly and decided she needed to have a seat to process everything she just heard. Was her whole upbringing a lie? And who was the woman who raised her? a liar? How did she even get her hands on me? A thousand more questions buzzed through her brain. It was too much!

The questions continued to run rapidly in her mind. She did not know how long she actually sat there, all she knew was she had somehow managed to get in bed at some point. 

Joshua: "You're finally up." He said as he was making up his side of the bed. 

Arm's stretched out and yawning, Miranda nodded in agreement. How long was she knocked out?

Joshua: "I've been meaning to talk to you." He began. He still did not want to confess to his mistake but he knew she deserved the truth. She laid back as he laid down next to her. 

Miranda: "What about?" She asked. Was he finally going to tell her off? Would he tell her he was leaving because she didn't give him enough attention? Was he having an affair? The questions began again but she silenced her thoughts to listen. 

Joshua: "I Know I've been a little distant lately and that's because.." He began "I got promoted a while back and it's just taken a while for me to get adjusted to it. I'm sorry."He said. He couldn't tell her. He just couldn't do it. 

Miranda almost laughed. That was it, really? 

Miranda: "That's a relief." She said.

Joshua: "What do you mean?" He asked, feeling a bit confused yet happy she brought the lie.

Miranda: "I thought it was something else, something I don't know..bad? Never mind what I thought though." She said. "You could have just told me."

Joshua: "Yes I know." He said. He pulled her gently into his arms and gave her a peck on the forehead.

He closed his eyes and just enjoyed her being in his arms. She was happy and he was at peace for a second anyways. He wish this could last, he wish he still didn't have a dark cloud over his head. Miranda looked at him lovingly. She felt lucky to have someone to love her the was he did. She was also glad for the distraction from her thoughts of her newly discovered information from yesterday. They broke their embrace shortly. Joshua had offered to cook her breakfast and she accepted. He rose from the bed to head downstairs. 

His last thought before departing was how much he didn't deserve her. 

The next day..

Joshua's parents arrived early the next morning. He had told his father how he and Miranda decided they'd have a small ceremony at their home. No big venue, not a million guests, no paparazzi, just close family and friends, mostly from his side. He didn't tell them exactly when they were getting married only that it'd be soon. Nevertheless, it didn't stop them from showing up. It was a surprise to Joshua but he was happy to see his parents. He had been meaning to see his father. He wanted his advice on his current predicament even though he knew what he would say. Shortly after they had arrived and were settled in, his mother whisked Miranda away to go shopping and to bond with her future daughter in law. 

He spotted his dad near the bookcase and walked up to him.

Joshua: "Dad you got a minute?" He asked.

Willie: "Sure son." He replied. They walked into the living room and took a seat on the sofa. 

Joshua decided to just come out with it. He knew his dad hated people beating around the bush and he couldn't risk Miranda and his mother over hearing this conversation. No doubt that his father would share it with his mother anyways. 

Joshua: "Dad I cheated on Miranda. It was an mistake and I never meant for it to happen." He blurted out, how cliche' he thought. The look his father's face went from disappointment to shame in a mere second. He shook his head quickly. He hadn't raised his son to be like this. 

Willie: "Joshua" He started, "You weren't raised like that." Joshua started to defend himself, but was quickly cut off. 

Willie: "You were raised to respect women and to protect them, not going around breaking their hearts. What on earth would you do if she had done this to you? Do you not use your head boy? And I mean the one on your shoulders" He began to lecture. 

"I am completely disappointed and disgusted with you right now!" He yelled. 

"I am ashamed to call you my son." He finished. Ouch, that hurt. He had felt guilty enough before revealing this to his dad. He hadn't thought this out properly. Telling his father could never have been a good idea, hell it might have been easier to just confess to Miranda. 

Joshua: "Dad I know I was raised better than that. I would never intentionally hurt Miranda, I love her." He said. He said in a small child-like voice.

Willie: "You don't hurt those you love Joshua." He said flatly.

Joshua: "I know Dad. I'm sorry, but I can't take it back." He said. Willie shook his head.

Willie: "You need not apologize to me boy. I'm not the one you plan on entering marriage with on a lie." He said. "That girl is the sweetest person I have ever seen and she treats you so good. How could you be so stupid and fuck up a good thing?" He began to lecture again. Joshua made no attempt to interrupt him again only nodded in agreement. 

Willie: "You're going to tell her boy and that's that! If she leaves, that's something you will live with." He demanded.

Joshua: "Yes father." He finally said. 

Miranda and Mrs. Thomas returned about an hour later. Willie retired to his guest room and his wife joined him. Joshua was in his office upstairs. Miranda made her way outside to see the set up for her wedding. The crew had done a wonderful job and she was happy with the sight she saw in front of her. It wasn't anything spectacular but it was beautiful to her nonetheless. 

Miranda was still staring at the wedding set up when Joshua had came downstairs He had to tell her, he had  no choice now. He couldn't see her face as he watched from inside but he knew she had a smile on her face, a smile that would be replaced with a frown and sadness after he told her the news. He hated himself. He hated himself for cheating, for lying about it and keeping it a secret for so long. He also hated himself for what he was about to do. 

To be continued...

Chapter Four: The Reveal

Six weeks had passed since Joshua and Mimi's affair. Over those six weeks, Mimi could no longer bear the guilt and moved out. She wanted to tell her best friend, but she did not want to break her heart. Joshua also wanted to tell his fiance but feared he'd lose her, so he kept the secret. Miranda was more confused than ever. Joshua was always quiet around the house. And the person she thought was like a sister to her had up and left with no notice whatsoever. Of course Miranda assumed she was the blame for all of this. If she hadn't been so distracted with tours, interviews and concerts she'd be at home more and could give Joshua the time and love he deserved. If she had been there for her friend, then she probably wouldn't have moved out. She attempted to find out what was wrong with Joshua but he insisted it was stress from work, she wanted to press the topic but decided not to.

Currently..
Joshua had vowed he would not tell Miranda about his brief moment of weakness. He thought a little weight was lifted off his shoulders when Mimi move away, but he still felt on edge. They hadn't spoken since their night of passion and had no idea where her head was. He feared she'd come back and tell Miranda everything. Every day he breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't show up. He also thought Miranda had gotten suspicious when she always asked what was wrong, he had to get better at hiding his emotions. He needed to talk to someone so he call his friend, Matt, and invited him over. The door bell had rung and Joshua let Matt in. Matt sat down and Joshua joined him.

Matt: "Dude you look like you're bugging out. Is that why you called?" He asked. Was it that obvious? Joshua thought.
Joshua: "I screwed up Matt. Bad." He answered. Joshua gave him a run-down of what happened weeks ago.

Matt: "You're joking right?" Matt asked once he was done.
Joshua: "I wish I were." He replied. Matt nodded.
Matt: "You really cheated on Miranda with that? I mean she's alright but Miranda is hot." Matt said. Joshua gave him a warning look. He knew he messed up but that didn't mean he could make comments about his fiance freely. Matt mumbled an apology.
Matt: "So are you going to tell her?" He inquired.
Joshua: "No. I love her and I just can't break her heart. I already did enough damage." He answered.
Matt: "This is going to blow up in your face if you don't tell her. Do it before Mimi does." He warned. Joshua agreed with him, but he still had no plans to tell her. As far as he was concerned, he was taking this secret to his grave. He just prayed Mimi and Matt would as well.

Later that day..
Joshua had left for work and Miranda came home to an empty house. She was just about to call Mimi for the 1000th time, when she heard her phone vibrate. She hoped it was her, but her heart dropped when she it wasn't her. It was the man who offered her his services a couple weeks back. He had already told her he had found some information about her mother. Where she had grew up, her hometown,etc. But not real facts, no useful ones anyways.

 Miranda: "Hello?" She answered.
Stranger: "Hello Miranda. I think you're going to like what I have to say today." He said. Her heart seem to lift back up at the sound of that.
Miranda: "Really?" She said, her voice filled with hope.
Stranger: "Yes." He nodded to himself. "I found information on your father this time, his name is Timothy Griffin." He started.
Miranda: "No that can't be right, my father's name was Alex. My mom at least told me that." She said shaking her head.
Stranger: "I thought you would say that. I remembered you telling me that so I looked him up too. Alex Carter is currently serving 40 years in prison." He said.
Miranda: "What?!" You're telling me my dad is in prison?" She yelled.
Stranger: "No. Alex is, Timothy currently resides in Riverview with his wife, Skylar Griffin, and his son, ." He replied.
Miranda: "My mother wouldn't lie to me." She insisted. "Alex is my father."
Stranger: "Miranda I find people for a living. I thought you agreed to trust me." He said. She remained silent and he continued. "Alex is serving time for attempted murder if you wanted to know. I also found out another interesting fact." He said.
Miranda: "Which is?" She asked.
Stranger: "Well I looked up Skylar, she has a restraining order against Alex. She is also his ex-wife." He said.
Miranda: "This sounds like a crock of shit Sir, really that doesn't make any sense." Miranda said, irritated. Did this guy think she was a fool?
Stranger: "Oh no it makes perfect sense Hon. Skylar is the reason he's behind bars. He made an attempt to take her life. I don't know all the details of how it played out. That is where you came in. I found Timothy and Skylar's address, if you want more answers you're going to have to get them yourself." He explained. Miranda's head began spinning. Where did her mom fit in all of this? He hadn't mentioned her once and why did this sound like an awful soap opera?

Miranda: "Wait, why didn't you mention my mom?" She asked.
Stranger: "Ah I forgot that detail. You see Miranda, she wasn't your mom. She only raised you." He replied, "I'm also afraid I must go. I'll fax you the hard copies of everything I found along with the address. Good luck." He said and hung up. Miranda stared ahead and listened to the phone call drop. She was speechless. Seconds later she let the phone fall and all she could think of was she just found out she was adopted.

*Sorry for the lack of pictures, thanks for reading!