Chapter Twenty one: Ghost

Miranda had attempted to visit the address she found on Google maps twice already. The first day she arrived early in the morning, but had been too late. The man she assumed was her father was getting into his truck with a young boy. The second day she arrived a little later in the evening. It was around five p.m. and she watched the same young boy toss a baseball around in the yard. She started to approach the house, but the man came out shortly to call the boy in for dinner. He had cast a look in Miranda's direction and she drove off before he could get a good look at her.

This was the third day. She took note that both cars were in the driveway today and assumed the entire family was home. With a deep breath, she exited her vehicle and walked across the street and was now standing below the staircase. She had played this over in her head about a dozen times. In one scenario she would pretend that her car broke down and she needed to use the phone. That plan would fail because what could she do afterwards? Say "By the way, I think you're my parents and the little boy is my brother."? No. They'd probably have her arrested. In another scenario she would wear a disguise. But in the end she decided to go with a open and honest approach.

Here goes nothing. she thought as she climbed the three or four stairs in front of her. She stood in front of the door to give herself time to prepare for what would happen. After all, once she was face to face with the people inside it was no turning back.

She knocked on the door three times and waited. If they didn't answer after a while she would knock again. When she was about to bring her hand up to knock again the door opened and in front of her stood the man she had seen two days before. The man that apparently fathered her and the man who had abandoned her. He began to speak but as he locked eyes with her, all he could do was stare. Miranda felt uncomfortable and wanted to break eye contact but she couldn't. He opened his mouth but closed it back. He looked as though he was trying to match her face with someone. And then something struck Miranda, could he have recognized her from TV? Maybe he had seen the interview she done recently or he saw her face in gossip magazines that had been headlining her relationship. Miranda decided she had enough of being gawked at.

"Hello." She spoke. And as if she had broke some trance, the man began to blink rapidly.
"Who are you?" He asked no louder than a whisper. OK he doesn't recognize me then. Miranda thought.
"I..I am Miranda. Miranda Griffin." She answered. He squinted his eyes. Then he cocked his head to the side and suddenly he looked annoyed? disgusted? Miranda was unsure but she didn't like it. She begin to think maybe she should have stayed away. I mean was it really wise to take information from some guy she didn't know? Maybe this was all a set up.
"Leave." He said simply. Miranda looked at him puzzled.
"Pardon me?" She said.
"Leave now and don't ever come back here!" He yelled. Miranda jumped back from the sudden rise of his voice. His eyes shot her a very pissed off glare before shutting the door in her face. She wanted to knock again and to ask what the hell had happened and what she had done to piss him off but she didn't.

Miranda stood there a moment longer before she had the strength to move. She didn't know how to feel yet. Hurt, Pissed, Confused..it was a toss up.

Miranda managed to drive herself home without bursting into tears. Sadly the same wouldn't be said once she was inside. It was all she seemed to do these days. Cry. But she couldn't help it. Everything just seemed to be turning sour,like her relationship. And just when she thought something might turn out good and someone might love her and welcome her with open arms;she gets a door slammed in her face and  told to never come back. What happened to family is always suppose to love you? What happened to family always sticks together?


_________________________________________________________________________________

Timothy barely had any time to process what took place because as soon as he shut the door, TJ was walking towards him.
"Daddy who was that?" TJ asked.
"No one son." Timothy replied. TJ gave him a look that told him he wasn't buying his lie.
"Then why were you yelling?" TJ prodded. Timothy sighed. He didn't want to lie to TJ, but he wasn't going to tell him the truth. Especially when he barely understood what happened himself.

"TJ it's nothing you need to worry about ok? It's a grown up type issue son." Timothy explained. TJ still wasn't fully ready to let it go, but he did. He hugged Timothy before returning to his room.

Timothy took a seat on the sofa once TJ was back in his room. He replayed what happened a few moments ago. He didn't mean to lash out on the woman like that. He couldn't help it though. She looked so much like her, so much like Skylar, his Skylar. And seeing her nearly broke his heart. And her last name was Griffin, just like theirs. It was too much of a coincidence for it to not mean anything. But what did it mean exactly? And why had she come here? Why now? What did she want? It was only one way to find out and that was to find her and ask. Of course she probably didn't want to see him now. He reached for his cell phone and called a friend of his. Lucas was a Private I and he could find anyone. He asked him to research the woman and find out where she was staying so he could talk to her. Lucas didn't question his request. Timothy was shocked to find out she was actually a well-known singer. And that just further confused him. How could he be connected to someone famous and what did she want with him? Well Lucas couldn't answer that. But he was able to track down the home she was renting in Riverview and gave him the address.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Miranda couldn't say she was exactly feeling better the next day, but at least she wasn't balling her eyes out anymore. She had given up on figuring out why he reacted that way and was trying to accept the fact that maybe she shouldn't have tracked them down. Maybe this was what they wanted, to give her up and  to never be found. She was about to return a phone call to Jaq' when she saw a familiar truck pull up. It was his truck, The same man who told her to never come back to his house. Jaq' had picked up and was saying hello when Miranda seemed to freeze up.
"Hello?" He repeated.
"Sorry Jaq', I have to call you back." She said and hung up the phone.

Timothy had walked up to her. Miranda took a few steps away from him and was debating on going inside the house. She didn't want to see him let alone talk to him. He had made it perfectly clear that he wants nothing to do with her. He didn't even give her a chance to explain, but here he was at her house? What the hell was his deal?

"Please don't leave." He requested.
"And why not?" She spat at him. She wasn't worried about being polite. Who cares if he might be her father? He certainly didn't so she shouldn't bother with being nice.
"I would like to talk to you." He answer. Miranda scoffed. She thought he was crazy. One moment he's shooing her off and the next he's at her house wanting to talk.
"Yeah well I'm not talking to you." She replied.
"I understand why you feel that way. I apologize for yesterday. I wasn't thinking clearly. And if you'd just let me talk to you then maybe we could help each other solve this..this predicament." He explained. Miranda gave him the side eye, but he had a point. She had came all this way to get answers so if he was willing to give them to her, then why push him away?
"Come in." She said flatly and headed inside, leaving the door open behind her.

Once seated, Timothy was the first to speak.
"May I ask why you showed up at my home?" He asked.
"If you hadn't told me to leave yesterday, you would know why already. But I came because I think you're my father." Miranda answered. Father? He thought. Had he heard her correctly? How could that be? How could he not  know he had another child out in the world?
"Did you say Father?" He asked.
"Yes. Father. And I believe your wife, Skylar, is my mother. Uh..I decided to look into my family history earlier this year and I found out I was adopted. And with the help of an investigator I found out who my real parents are." Miranda answered. This didn't make any sense to Timothy. He knew Miranda looked very identical to Skylar, but it was just impossible. She hadn't been pregnant before TJ, had she?
"I don't understand. This just doesn't add up." He said.
"What are you talking about?" Miranda asked. Why was he playing dumb about everything? He could at least admit that she was a mistake and they had given her up. She deserved the truth and she wad tired of people giving her the run around. Timothy was still trying to process everything and didn't answer her.
"You and Skylar obviously didn't want me. I don't know why, maybe you were young and couldn't afford to take care of me..I don't know. But you could at least own up to it." Miranda said feeling her frustration build up.
"No I would never give my child up for adoption." He replied at last. Miranda shook her head. She wasn't buying his excuse.
"Maybe it would help if I told you how Skylar and I met." He offered. Maybe it would help him too if he took a trip down memory lane. Maybe he had missed something.

He begin to explain that when he met Skylar, she was already married. But unhappily married, since Alex was an alcoholic and abusive. He didn't go into details, he just told her that on one particular evening Alex had took things too far and became physically abusive towards Skylar and he had came to help her. Because of this, he had ended up in jail and Timothy began to spend more and more time with Skylar. It was a friendship that had turned to into a relationship. He didn't mention that the had been intimate, but he guessed Miranda could have figured that out.

"That doesn't really help." Miranda commented once he was done.
"I know." He agreed. He shared some more information with her. He told her that the only thing that didn't make sense was how Skylar reacted when he told her he was moving. He assumed she was just afraid of Alex so much so that she didn't want to leave. Even though he constantly reassured her that he'd protect her. But now that he was thinking about it with newly found information, she could have reacted that way because she was pregnant. But if she was, why would she hide it? He also remembered that it took a while for her to join him. He never understood that, he also never understood why she was bigger when she came to Riverview to live with him. Miranda didn't know what to make of all of this. Pretty much everything was a theory at this point but nothing was proven.

"Do you think she would do something like that? Hide her pregnancy?" Miranda asked.
"I don't see why. I would have taken care of her, of you. She had no reason to keep that from me." He answered. Could she really have lied to him all of this time? For 21 years?
"I know it might be a difficult conversation for you two to have, but why don't you just ask her?" Miranda suggested. "Then we won't have to grasp at straws and we'd both have answers.
"I can't do that." He replied.
"Why not?" Miranda inquired.

Timothy sighed heavily before leaning back against the couch. He twirled his wedding ring around his finger before he spoke.
"I can't ask Skylar because..because she's dead." Timothy replied. Dead? Miranda thought. Again Miranda was feeling stuck in a soap opera. Why couldn't anything be easy for her? Why did she constantly have to run around like she was forever lost in a maze? And why did the one person who held all the answers to her questions have to be dead?

Timothy didn't say anything else. Miranda breathed deeply and looked up.
"I think you should go now." Miranda replied. Timothy simply nodded. He understood her frustration. He was frustrated too. He had to deal with the fact that he may have a 21 year old daughter that he knew nothing about. And that his late wife may have hidden this all from him. He would give Miranda and himself some time to process everything before he came back.

Chapter Twenty: A Mother's decision

*This Chapter will be about Miranda's parents, told from her mom's pov. 

March 12th, 1990 

Dear Diary,

I'm in love! Yes I said it. I, Skylar, am indeed in love. It feels so good to tell someone even if it's only a journal. No offense. I guess I don't have any other options though, Who else would I tell? Mama? Daddy? 
Skylar laughed.
Yeah I think I'll stick with you Diary. Anyways you want the details right? Okay hold on. 

His name is Alex Carter and he is drop dead sexy. We met at a party down the street. Now I know what you're thinking, a little shy girl like you, what were you doing at a party? Well Mama practically made me go. She said I was 17 and with it being my senior year, I needed to go out and have fun. Can you believe it? The woman who spends her off days sewing and reading is telling me I need to have fun! At first I was against the idea. It's bad enough I had to spend time at school with those people, but now I was willingly going to be around them. The idea made me cringe. And I even got Daddy on my side for backup. But Mama wasn't having any of that. She said I was going and that was that. So I went, no ifs, ands or buts about it. One good thing about it was Mama made me a brand new dress. It was a little too tight and short for my taste, but I didn't try to sass her again. Anyways..let's fast forward. There I was hugging the wall when he walked in. It was like every girl stopped and stared at him. And yes that included me. I just stood there pressed against the wall with my mouth hanging open. If I had a mirror, I would have probably looked like a fish out of water. I remember noting that he didn't go to my school. He was a few inches taller than I was. He had reddish-brown hair and a freshly shaven beard. He wore a sweater that hugged his muscles perfectly. And before I could close my mouth he was standing right in front of me! ME! Can you believe it? I managed to close my mouth and look like a normal person. He introduced himself to me and asked me to dance. Now you know the only dancing I do is at home in the privacy of my own room. If it was just a little bit lighter in the room then he would have been able to see me blush. I tried to politely decline his offer but he wouldn't let up. He insisted that he just had to have a dance with me and me alone. Why? No Idea. I was no one special, but I finally caved in. We danced and I didn't trip not once. As we were dancing I could feel the burning gazes of my classmates. They were jealous and wasn't shy about showing it. One girl even came up to us and tried to cut in. Alex looked at her as if she was nothing and just kept dancing with me. I wanted to laugh so bad, but I kept it together. Fast forward again to the end of the night. He offered to drive me back home and I was hesitant. He was easy on the eyes and one hell of a dancer but I didn't know him! And mama and daddy didn't raise a fool. I didn't just hop into the car with anyone. But again he started begging so I allowed him to drive me home. Thankfully mama and daddy weren't waiting outside like  I thought they would be. He walked me to my front porch and planted one on me! I'm talking about on-the-lips tongue and all! I had never been kissed like that. Well I had never been kissed before that..


May 16th, 1990

Dear Diary,

I know it's been a minute since we talked. I apologize for that. But my days were spent with studying for finals, graduation practice and hanging out with Alex. After the party, we had seen each other every day. I later found out he was in college already and was in his sophomore year. He came from money, not Bill Gates rich, but his family did well from themselves. This allowed for him to have him own place and we had talked about it and it was decided I would be moving in with him after I graduated. Mama and Daddy weren't exactly thrilled about the idea, but it wasn't much they could do. I was turning 18 soon and I was no longer there baby girl. 

July 10th, 1990

Diary is it necessary for me to keep going with "Dear Diary" greeting? Well today I'm skipping it. It was my birthday yesterday! Can you believe, I'm an adult! The big 1-8!. It was great. Alex surprised me in the morning and we went out for breakfast. He took me to some fancy place that I couldn't pronounce and the bill was probably more than my parents had in their savings, but he said I was worth it. I wasn't completely comfortable with it but he kept reassuring me it was okay. After breakfast we went to catch a movie. We had saw Pretty Woman. It instantly became my favorite movie! Never mind the fact that she was a prostitute, he didn't see her as that and didn't treat her like that. Well..not after a while. It was truly one of the greatest love stories I had even seen. And the end oh my, it just blew me away. I was in tears when he came back for her. It just goes to show you that it doesn't matter what you do or who you are, because someone out there will love you regardless. He had to leave for a while so he dropped me off at home. It would't be my home for too long, I had packed my things long ago. Mama and Daddy were home and we had cake and ice cream just like we did every year prior to that. I had spent the night out with Alex and he proposed! Yes I was shocked, I nearly fainted. But of course I said yes. 

The Diary entries end here, next will just be her talking about events that followed after they married 

We had gotten married in August of 1990 and it was beautiful. We had the ceremony at a Church. And for our special day, it was decorated elaborately. Our colors were white and gold. The bridesmaids and the flower girl wore gold gowns with white heels. Alex and his best man wore black tuxedos with gold handkerchiefs tucked in the suit pocket. My dress was white with small gold beading around the upper half. It hugged my body perfectly and It didn't make me self-conscious even with the plunging neckline. 

Our lives as a married couple felt like a fairy tale. Every passing day felt so unreal and I sometimes had to pinch myself just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Alex had dropped out of school after we wedded, but it was do big deal. He had a job lined up with his dad's company. I had never applied to college, Alex said I didn't need to. I wouldn't be working anyways. I was going to stay at home and take care of our future children. I wasn't 100% happy about not being able to go College. Mama always drilled into me the importance of an education and how I shouldn't depend on a man. But Alex didn't like it when I told him that. He said a woman's place was at home. Not in school or at work. I begrudgingly agreed to his idea. 

Well it was Christmas and we were suppose to spend it with my family. His parents went away to the Bahamas. I had gotten ready and was waiting on him. Alex had to work that morning and I was praying he got off in time. Lately his schedule had been up and down. Or at least that's the excuse he had given me. He began to work later and later it seemed despite how early he went in. He also started drinking, heavily. He said it was nothing whenever I confronted him about it. He said it helped him deal with work. I suggested he go back to school so he could do something he would enjoy, but that would always end in a fight. He would yell and constantly call me stupid. Since I wasn't "college educated" I had no right to suggest such a thing and should stay in my place, he would argue. 

He finally stumbled in with a bottle in his hand. The clock read 8:00 pm. It wasn't early in the morning, but we were hours late for dinner with my parents! I was beyond upset. He didn't even look like he had went into work. So I assumed he was out drinking all damn day while I waited for him to arrive. 
"Where have you been?!" I yelled. He looked at me like I had lost my mind and just waved me off. He tried to go into our bedroom and sleep off his hangover. Well he wasn't getting off that easy. I blocked his way to the bed and started to lay into him. 

He didn't just stand there and take it as I hoped he would. He dropped the bottle and it crashed into a million pieces as it collided with the floor. 
"I have been busting my ass in the office all morning and I come home to you bitching and moaning!" He screamed. I looked away to avoid his burning gaze. I hated arguing but it was all we did lately. When I said nothing he went on tearing into me.
"You ungrateful bitch! I give you everything and you're still not satisfied  I should have never married you." He continued berating me. I stood there a few moments more taking his words in until I was tired of it.
"I am very grateful for the life you have provided for us but that doesn't mean you can treat me like this and not expect me to get fed up. I'm tired of it Alex. I'm tired of being home alone all day. And when you finally do come home, you're drunk as shit and just pass out by the front door. And trust me you're not the only one regretting getting married. I regret it every single day I wake up. I regret it when you are sober enough to sleep with me. Afterwards I feel like some cheap slut that you paid to get your rocks off. There's no love here anymore, no passion, nothing! Only an alcoholic and a fed up woman." I screamed. By the time I was done with my outburst, I was red in the face and my heart was beating wildly. Alex was also red with anger. His eyes was shooting me death glares but he remained silent. 

He said nothing as he leaned near me and brought his arms back. He had never struck me before. Usually his words were enough to shut me up. I jumped back instinctively. And waited for it to come. I knew I had gone too far this time and I wasn't getting off lightly for it. He smacked me across the face repeatedly. As if he were slapping sense into me. I cried out as his palm continually made contact with my cheek. I begged him to stop, but my pleas fell on death ears. He shoved me against the dresser and began to shake me. I again pleaded for the abuse to end. He wasn't through yet though. He shoved me onto the floor and was about to introduce his fist to my eye when sirens were heard nearby. He panicked and made his escape from the house. 

Moments later I heard my bedroom door open. I didn't know if he came back to take me out for good before the cops came or if it were the cops.  I closed my eyes either way. 
"Oh my god". Timothy gasped. He gently helped me sit up. Timothy was Alex's friend and our neighbor. He had often consoled me after a heated argument with Alex. Sometimes he had to break things up before they got too far. Unfortunately he was too late this time. 
"Sky? Skylar? Speak to me." He begged. A tear rolled out of my eyes and he wiped it away. I couldn't say anything. I just began to cry softly. The cops entered my bedroom next and began to question us. Timothy explained that he had heard commotion coming from my home and called the cops. I ended up pressing charges and the cops set out to pursue Alex. He was found at a bar somewhere. 

Alex had received his sentence. When his parents returned from their trip, they disowned Alex and refused to help him. Out of guilt, they continued to pay the bills in the house. Timothy insisted that he visit frequently during Alex's incarceration to make sure I was okay. Over the course of a few months me and Timothy had got pretty close. He made it clear that he had feelings for me and I found myself confessing that I did too. Needless to say, we became romantically involved and entered a "relationship". I found myself pregnant in April of 1991. Alex would be getting out towards the end of the year. I was afraid and didn't know what to do. And if everything wasn't bad enough, Timothy told me he was leaving and wanted me to come with. I wanted to, but there was a big problem. Our child. He didn't yet know about it and I didn't want to tell him. The months passed by and the date for him to leave was quickly approaching. He left when I was four months into my pregnancy and I stayed behind. It was hard but I still hadn't decided what to do about the baby. I told him I would be joining him later and that was enough for him to let me go. I began showing the next month and became aware that I needed to find a solution quick! 

My solution didn't come until my 8th month of pregnancy. It was December and Alex was getting out that very month. Thankfully, he had to go to rehab right afterwards. So that brought me another month or two. My friend Mae had never been able to have a child of her own. Her husband left her and she lived alone. We kept in contact through writing letters. Alex had only allowed me to call my parents when he was here so it was the only way to keep the friendship. I had an idea one day. I had never thought about an abortion and knew I was carrying my baby full term. Briefly I thought about adoption, but I wanted my baby, so that was out of the question. And that's where Mae came in. I would leave Miranda with her until it was safe for me to come back for her. I had went to her house one day to ask her about it. She was happy when she saw my growing belly and couldn't resit rubbing it. We sat on her couch as we caught up. And then I had to reveal my real reason for visiting. I told Mae about Alex being locked up and why. I also told her that he was getting out soon, but I wanted to leave him. I left out Timothy and the fact that I was pregnant with his child and not Alex's. She didn't say much as I told her the story. I was nervous about what was coming next but I had to continue. I explained that I couldn't take my baby with me right away and I had no one to leave her with once she was born. She looked at me questionably as I went on. I then went on to ask if she could raise her for a while. I knew it wasn't fair to ask this of her, but considering she couldn't have her own child I knew it would be hard for her to turn down my offer. She was quiet as she thought it over. In the end she agreed. Before leaving I let her know I was due between the end of December and early January. 

January 3rd, 1992 was the day Miranda Griffin came into the world. She was gorgeous. She had black hair and blue eyes. She was 7 lbs and 7 ounces and was the cutest thing I ever laid eyes on. Alex was released from jail, but away in rehab. So he knew nothing about my pregnancy or Miranda. I stuck to my word and when it was time to go "home", Mae picked us up. She had a crib set up in her guest room. It was a tearful goodbye, but it was something I had to do. I had thought about writing a letter to explain everything in case I wasn't able to come back for her. So she'd know I did love her and wanted to keep her. But that would mean I wasn't coming back and I was so I opted not to do that. The following week I joined Timothy in Riverview. I didn't tell him about the baby and he didn't question the few pounds I picked up. He was just happy to see me. I was happy to see him too, but it didn't feel right. Nothing really felt right since I had left her, but knowing she would join us kept me going. 

**So I know this wasn't really a Miranda chapter, but it's leading to her finding her parents. I don't want to say too much, but as fate will have it Miranda will never find out why she was given to Mae. I won't give anything else away though! Also you might wonder why she didn't leave Miranda with her parents. Well when Alex returns home and discovers she isn't there, the first place he would go is their house. He would then see the baby and she didn't want to risk him taking her or harming her parents in the process. She felt that Mae was the best choice. 

Chapter Nineteen: Doesn't hurt to try

Mimi's POV

Remind me again why I agreed to this. Why on earth did I pick up the phone let alone accept her invitation. Because she's your mother and she still scares the crap out of you. I had finally made my way to the park and spotted my mother sitting near a tree alone. Who else would be with her? I waddled my way over to her.

"Dear you made it." My mother said as I took my seat. Of course I did, if I had declined I was sure she'd drag me out of my house against my will. She's proven no matter what my age or me being pregnant she'd still put her hands on me.
"Yes mother. I hope I'm not too late." I responded. She shot me a fake smile. I didn't know what she was up to and that concerned me.

"Mom you said this was important. Not to be disrespectful, but what is it?" I inquired. I threw that in there to not set off her temper. She sat there for a moment and didn't answer my question right away.
"Well Mimi..I wanted to apologize for my actions." She started off. Apolo-what?! My mother has never apologized to me and I wouldn't be surprise if I was the first person to receive the honor.
"You have nothing to be sorry about mom." I said.
"Yes I do." My mother replied. She took a deep breath before she went on. This was clearly taking a lot of effort. "I love you Mimi and I've always wanted the best for you. You're my only child." She said. My mother sighed and a smile crept across her face. It actually looked genuine. "I want to see you happy, have a family, a real family. It hurts my heart to see you settling." She finished.

I knew it was too good to be true. I knew she couldn't say all of these things without an ulterior motive.
"Mother I'm not settling. I'm just trying to do the best I can in this situation." I explained. Why do I have to repeat myself like a broken record? Why couldn't she just accept things for what they were?!
"I know that's what you believe, maybe it's what he told you, but Mimi you deserve better. You deserve a husband to be there with you through all of this. Don't you think so?" My mother asked. I hated to admit it, but she had a point or her convincing was starting to work.
"Yes." I admitted.
"Then why aren't you trying?" My mother prodded. "And if you are trying, try harder."
"Mom.." I started to cut in.
"Let me finish. I mean think about it baby, he has made the first step already."  I gave her a puzzled look. What first step? I thought.
"He moved in with you." My mother answered as if she read my mind.

Because he had no where else to go! I wanted to scream, but I kept it to myself.
"How did you know?" I asked instead.
"It's obvious. He walked in like he had been doing it for a while. Mommy isn't a fool." She answered. I just nodded along.
"Just think about what I said. I have to go now." My mom said.

I stood to bid my mother goodbye. I took it she was leaving for good this time and going back home. She bent down to talk to my growing belly. It was odd, being maternal wasn't her thing.

"Hey there little angel." She spoke to my stomach. "Don't you think mommy and daddy should be together? Wouldn't you like that? Hmm?" She asked and started to rub my stomach. As if the baby wanted to respond, it kicked. I have to say this shocked me. Even if the baby heard her, certainly it didn't understand. I shook it off and pulled her into a hug.
"Bye mother." I said. She gave me a gentle pat on the back before we broke away from one another.
"I love you." My mother said. She was full of surprises today.
"I love you too mom." I replied.

Later that day

Joshua's POV

I know Matt didn't understand why I rushed away like that. Truth be told, I barely understood myself. I just knew I suddenly wanted to go back home, home to her. Mimi. I changed my brisk walk into a jog. My legs weren't moving fast enough. Soon I saw the house in view and I urged my legs to move faster.

Now that I was mere seconds away from entering the house, I suddenly felt unsure of myself. What the hell was I about to say? How would she react? respond? Was I ready for it?

I took a deep breath and walked into the living room. She was on the couch reading a book, a cookbook. I wonder if she was planning on cooking something special tonight. Or maybe I was reading too much into it.
I made my way over to her as she turned the page.
"Hello." She greeted without looking up.
"Hi." I replied and took my seat.

Mimi must have known I wanted to talk because she put the book down. We both sat there just looking at one another. I tried to read her face, but she just looked confused.
"So..what were you reading?" I asked lamely.
"A cookbook, just keeping skills sharp I guess." She responded. Her eyes lit up when she said that. She missed working in the restaurant. I nodded.
"You want to go somewhere? It's really nice outside and I don't feel like being stuck in the house all day." I asked. She looked alarm. She didn't leave the house unless she had to. Before she could protest, I interjected.
"Please, don't make me go alone." I begged. That worked. I could see her reconsidering.
"Okay." She replied. Yes! I celebrated inside my head. I smiled at her. She smiled back before retreating back into her bedroom to get ready.

I choose a club, not because I wanted to drink or dance, but because it has a arcade inside. Mimi seemed reluctant at first, but finally caved. We both agreed to play pool. She said it was her first time, but I couldn't tell. She sure was better than me. But then again I was pretty inexperienced myself. It wasn't long before she grew tired and wanted to sit down. I escorted her to a nearby room and sat down with her.

"You were kicking my butt" I commented. She laughed.
"Sorry." She joked.
"I have been meaning to talk to you." I said taking a serious approach.
"Oh?" She asked. I nodded.

"My boss came through and helped me find a new job." I announced. Her mouth spread into a wide smile.
"That is awesome Joshua! I'm happy for you." She said and gave me a pat on the shoulder.
"Thank you, but this isn't just good news for me. It's for us, our family." I replied. She looked unsure of what to say, so I continued.
"I mean it Mimi. We're in this together." I said. I slowly reached down and squeezed her hand gently. I thought she'd pull away but instead she gave me a small squeeze back.
"How was the appointment?" I asked.
"Oh it went well." She answered and rubbed her belly. She was getting bigger now and had a bump. I wish I could reach over and rub her growing belly as well, but I refrained from doing so.
"Great."I said. She looked away. I didn't know why. Was the conversation making her uncomfortable? I hoped not.

"Mimi I have been meaning to say thanks for letting me stay with you." I said trying to shift the conversation. She waved off my thank you and just smiled.
"It's no big deal." She said. "And now you can get your own place so you won't have to sleep on that tiny sofa." She said. Is that what changed? She was worried I'd leave since I was starting a new job.
"Oh no Mimi. I wasn't planning on leaving. Well not alone anyways." I said.
"What  do you mean?" She questioned.
"I would like my own place, when I save up the cash, but I'd like you to come with me." I explained.
"Why?" She asked.
"I'd like to support us. It is a man's job after all." I answered. She looked away again.
"I'll be okay. After the baby is born, I'll find something." She said.
"Mimi why won't you let me help?" I inquired. I was starting to feel frustrated.
"You don't have to do this...you don't need to do this." She said. I reached over and held her chin; I turned her to face me.
"Are you scared?" I asked. She nodded.
"You don't have to be. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." I reassured her.
"It's getting late." She stated. I glanced at my phone to check the time. She was right, so we prepared to return home.

After I parked the car in the driveway, I went to open the door for Mimi and helped her out. We started to make our way inside when I felt her hand slip into mines. I held her hand a little firmer as we walked up the stairs. Maybe it was innocent. Maybe it was an accident.

We walked inside and I closed the door behind us. I don't know why but I suddenly had the urge to touch her again. And not just her hand. I pulled her back to me and hugged her from behind. She gasped at first, but she returned the favor by placing her hands over mines. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the closeness.


*So I made up my mind lol. This was longer than I intended it to be. It would be even longer, had my game not froze after the last picture. Miranda was also suppose to be in this chapter, but I couldn't figure where to fit her in. I'm still thinking of how to go about her next step with finding her family so I finished up with these two :) At least for now.

Chapter Eighteen: Emotions Resurfaced

The day had arrived. The day that Miranda had never dreamed would come. Today she would be leaving Starlight Shores, and even though it wasn't permanent, she still felt nervous. The night before was spent tossing and turning and her second guessing herself. At one point she wanted to cancel her flight, but thankfully the rational part of her mind had checked back in just in time.

"So are you ready?" Emily asked, unsure what to say. Jaq' had a meeting with a potential client and wasn't able to see Miranda off. The two women weren't BFF's, but they had developed somewhat of a relationship. A strong enough relationship to the point where they'd really miss each other during this time apart. Miranda sighed and looked over to her awaiting luggage. Was she ready? Hell no. But was she going to get on that plane today? Of course.

"Honestly, no. But it doesn't matter. I have to do this." Miranda replied truthfully. Emily nodded.
"But not right now, not if you're feeling unsure." Emily replied.
"Emily I'll probably never be ready. I mean would you be? I'm going to a place I've never been, alone, and I have no idea what I'm setting myself up for." Miranda said. The reality of the situation scared her out of her mind. Her biggest fear was getting rejected to her face and she didn't know how she'd handle it if it happened.

"You're right." Emily said. "I wish I could help you in someway, even do it for you."
"Don't worry, I have my cowgirl boots on." Miranda joked. Emily smiled at her, but couldn't bring herself to laugh. In a town like this genuine people were hard to come by. And just like Miranda, Emily didn't have a lot of people she could trust here. So watching Miranda prepare to leave was harder on her than she assumed it would be.

"If I don't leave now, then I'll miss my flight." Miranda stated during their silence.
"Yeah okay." Emily said softly. She wiped at a tear escaping from her eye and looked at the ground. Miranda's heart suddenly warmed up. People like this and moments such as this reminded her that there are still good people out there. And she was lucky to have a few in her life.
"Come here." Miranda said and pulled her into a hug. "I'm going to miss you too." She said. Emily hadn't actually said it of course, but her actions did. They broke their embrace. Miranda gathered her bags with the help of Emily and loaded her trunk. She hopped in the front seat and rolled down the passenger's side window to wave goodbye. Emily waved back with a teary smile plastered on her face.

....

In Riverview

Miranda had arranged to rent a small house during her time in Riverview. She exited her car, grabbed her first suitcase and headed towards her new home. She noticed the paint chipping from the door and hoped the inside looked better. It did, thankfully. She continued to unload her car until everything was inside the house. Tired and a little worn out from the flight, she decided to reward herself with a drink. Non-alcoholic of course.

Ignore the plants going through the house please, I was too lazy to move them lol

As Miranda blended her drink, her mind drifted back to the day she had found out about the affair. Specifically her return home .Why that particular day, she didn't know. She truly thought they could make it work. And she imagined Joshua being here with her. Giving her the support she wished she now had. Yes, she had it all figured out. She even pictured her father walking her down the aisle. Miranda tried to shake the thoughts. She didn't need to go there, not now. Not ever. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, that inner voice told her. You can still have that dream, It said. 

"No I can't. It's too late!" She screamed inside the empty house. Suddenly, her drink wasn't as appealing anymore and opted for a hot bath instead. 

As she turned the doorknob and entered the small bathroom, an idea popped inside her head. 

Call him the inner voice said. She shook her head, but the thought didn't go away. The voice was persistent this time, refusing to be silenced. In the end, the voice had won and Miranda found herself dialing Joshua's number. 

...

Joshua was lounging around watching nothing in particular on TV when his phone began to ring. His eyes almost popped out of his head when he read the name on the caller ID. 

It can't be. He told himself. The shock quickly wore off and he reached for the phone before she hung up.

"Hello?" He answered. 

"Hi Josh." Miranda spoke. Josh, he hadn't heard that in a while. He missed hearing it almost as much as he missed her. 

"I can't believe you're calling me." He said.

"Neither can I." She said.

"Miranda about what happened. I had nothing to do with it." He explained. Miranda hadn't called for that reason. But it's what he assumed. And since she hadn't answered any of his calls before, he took this as a chance to explain. 

"Oh. Well that's behind me now." She said.

"Good..great." He replied, feeling a rush of relief. Silence came across both sides. Miranda was still kicking herself for calling and Joshua was unsure what to say. He didn't want the call to end, and didn't want to say anything wrong. 

"I miss you." He said at last. He couldn't hold it in anymore. "And I still love you." He said before she could respond. 

I miss you too. Miranda thought. She wouldn't admit it though.

"Joshua. I'm sorry. I don't know why I called." She replied.

"Wait please don't go." He pleaded. Tears began to form in Miranda's eyes. She had to be strong and she had to move on.

"Goodbye Joshua." She said as her voice began to crack and hung up. 

The tears began to fall as she sat up on the tub's edge. She didn't bother wiping them away this time. She felt as though she deserved it. All the pain, all the hurtful memories rushing back was her fault. She opened that door and now it was no closing it. 

"What the hell is wrong with me?" She asked herself. "I wasn't hurt enough so I had to go back for more?!" She yelled. "I'm so stupid." She said. 

...

Joshua was stunned when Miranda ended the call abruptly. He cursed himself as he stared into the phone. He dialed Matt's number. He needed to get all of this off his chest. And who else could he turn to when shit got bad? His best friend, Matt. Matt answered and agreed to meet up with him at the gym. 

Matt got out of his vehicle and spotted Joshua in the corner of the Gym. He hadn't entered yet and appeared to be hiding. Matt nodded at him when Joshua spotted him approaching. 

"Everything okay? I haven't heard from you in a while." Matt asked with concern. Joshua shook his head. He wanted to say yes, but he was tired of lying to himself. Matt thought something was up. He could hear it in his voice over the phone. And now he could see it in his face. However, he knew Joshua probably wasn't up for discussing his business on the street. 

"Let's go inside, blow off some steam." Matt suggested. Joshua nodded and followed him inside. 

Joshua had choose the treadmill despite Matt's protest. Matt hadn't worked out in a while, he was lucky to still have his six pack. 

"Come on old man!" Joshua taunted. Matt flipped him the finger before adjusting the machine's settings. Joshua laughed and sped up. The competitiveness in Matt wouldn't let him be outdone, so he upped his speed as well. 

The two heard an "ouch" and a few choice swear words behind them. Joshua shook his head, thinking about the poor soul who fell. Matt took a quick glance back. That was a big mistake, he lost his balance and fell too.

"Shit!" He yelled heading down. Joshua busted into a fit of laughter as he jumped off his machine to help his friend. 

The two walked off to get a bit of privacy. After Joshua had stopped heckling Matt about his fall, Matt inquired about the real reason for his call. With a sigh, Joshua poured his heart out to his best friend. 

He even told him about his unborn child and moving in with Mimi.

"You just keep digging yourself in deeper huh?" Matt said. Matt felt sorry for his friend, but he wasn't going to sugar coat how he felt. No, he was taking a tough love approach.

"Joshua..dude you can't get back with Miranda if you're shaking up with Mimi." Matt said. 

"I know that!" Joshua exclaimed. He looked around to make sure no one was around after his outburst. His tone didn't phase Matt.

"You do want her back right?" Matt asked. 

"I do..I did. I don't know." Joshua answered. Of course would have automatically rolled off his tongue, but he really thought about the question. He missed her and he did still love her, but was there really any hope for them? Even if luck was in his favor and they were still together, having a baby with someone else would surely change things. And then he remembered why he had ended things. 

"I do, but I know it's never going to happen." Joshua said truthfully. Matt nodded. He knew it took a lot to admit that. He patted him on the shoulder. 

"Have you ever thought about you and Mimi, together?" Matt suddenly inquired. Joshua was taken back to his conversation with Summer. He would be lying if he said no. There were times where he had pictured it. 

"Yeah." Joshua replied.

"Really?" Matt asked, shocked. Joshua nodded.

"She's having my child and we live together." Joshua added. Matt continued to look at him questionably. 

"You..haven't slept with her again right?" Matt asked out of the blue.

"What? No of course not!" Joshua said and shut down that topic. He also kept the fact that they shared a bed a few times to himself. He couldn't believe what was now going through his mind. Just earlier he was pinning over his ex and now he was actually considering being with Mimi? 

"Josh you are having a kid with her, maybe you can give it a shot?" Matt offered. This conversation again reminded him of the one he had with Summer. Did they have a point? Should they try? for their child's sake? for themselves? 

"You know you have a point." He said. 

"I do?" Matt asked. He was only half serious, he didn't think Joshua would seriously consider it.

"Yeah. I have to go." Joshua said before heading to shower and change his clothes. 

**Okay so, I was anti Joshua and Mimi, but I've been tossing the idea around in my head for sometime. I haven't made up my mind as of yet, but I'm sure you can see which side I'm leaning to. Also I thought I'd bring Miranda back since this really is her story lol.