Chapter Twenty: A Mother's decision

*This Chapter will be about Miranda's parents, told from her mom's pov. 

March 12th, 1990 

Dear Diary,

I'm in love! Yes I said it. I, Skylar, am indeed in love. It feels so good to tell someone even if it's only a journal. No offense. I guess I don't have any other options though, Who else would I tell? Mama? Daddy? 
Skylar laughed.
Yeah I think I'll stick with you Diary. Anyways you want the details right? Okay hold on. 

His name is Alex Carter and he is drop dead sexy. We met at a party down the street. Now I know what you're thinking, a little shy girl like you, what were you doing at a party? Well Mama practically made me go. She said I was 17 and with it being my senior year, I needed to go out and have fun. Can you believe it? The woman who spends her off days sewing and reading is telling me I need to have fun! At first I was against the idea. It's bad enough I had to spend time at school with those people, but now I was willingly going to be around them. The idea made me cringe. And I even got Daddy on my side for backup. But Mama wasn't having any of that. She said I was going and that was that. So I went, no ifs, ands or buts about it. One good thing about it was Mama made me a brand new dress. It was a little too tight and short for my taste, but I didn't try to sass her again. Anyways..let's fast forward. There I was hugging the wall when he walked in. It was like every girl stopped and stared at him. And yes that included me. I just stood there pressed against the wall with my mouth hanging open. If I had a mirror, I would have probably looked like a fish out of water. I remember noting that he didn't go to my school. He was a few inches taller than I was. He had reddish-brown hair and a freshly shaven beard. He wore a sweater that hugged his muscles perfectly. And before I could close my mouth he was standing right in front of me! ME! Can you believe it? I managed to close my mouth and look like a normal person. He introduced himself to me and asked me to dance. Now you know the only dancing I do is at home in the privacy of my own room. If it was just a little bit lighter in the room then he would have been able to see me blush. I tried to politely decline his offer but he wouldn't let up. He insisted that he just had to have a dance with me and me alone. Why? No Idea. I was no one special, but I finally caved in. We danced and I didn't trip not once. As we were dancing I could feel the burning gazes of my classmates. They were jealous and wasn't shy about showing it. One girl even came up to us and tried to cut in. Alex looked at her as if she was nothing and just kept dancing with me. I wanted to laugh so bad, but I kept it together. Fast forward again to the end of the night. He offered to drive me back home and I was hesitant. He was easy on the eyes and one hell of a dancer but I didn't know him! And mama and daddy didn't raise a fool. I didn't just hop into the car with anyone. But again he started begging so I allowed him to drive me home. Thankfully mama and daddy weren't waiting outside like  I thought they would be. He walked me to my front porch and planted one on me! I'm talking about on-the-lips tongue and all! I had never been kissed like that. Well I had never been kissed before that..


May 16th, 1990

Dear Diary,

I know it's been a minute since we talked. I apologize for that. But my days were spent with studying for finals, graduation practice and hanging out with Alex. After the party, we had seen each other every day. I later found out he was in college already and was in his sophomore year. He came from money, not Bill Gates rich, but his family did well from themselves. This allowed for him to have him own place and we had talked about it and it was decided I would be moving in with him after I graduated. Mama and Daddy weren't exactly thrilled about the idea, but it wasn't much they could do. I was turning 18 soon and I was no longer there baby girl. 

July 10th, 1990

Diary is it necessary for me to keep going with "Dear Diary" greeting? Well today I'm skipping it. It was my birthday yesterday! Can you believe, I'm an adult! The big 1-8!. It was great. Alex surprised me in the morning and we went out for breakfast. He took me to some fancy place that I couldn't pronounce and the bill was probably more than my parents had in their savings, but he said I was worth it. I wasn't completely comfortable with it but he kept reassuring me it was okay. After breakfast we went to catch a movie. We had saw Pretty Woman. It instantly became my favorite movie! Never mind the fact that she was a prostitute, he didn't see her as that and didn't treat her like that. Well..not after a while. It was truly one of the greatest love stories I had even seen. And the end oh my, it just blew me away. I was in tears when he came back for her. It just goes to show you that it doesn't matter what you do or who you are, because someone out there will love you regardless. He had to leave for a while so he dropped me off at home. It would't be my home for too long, I had packed my things long ago. Mama and Daddy were home and we had cake and ice cream just like we did every year prior to that. I had spent the night out with Alex and he proposed! Yes I was shocked, I nearly fainted. But of course I said yes. 

The Diary entries end here, next will just be her talking about events that followed after they married 

We had gotten married in August of 1990 and it was beautiful. We had the ceremony at a Church. And for our special day, it was decorated elaborately. Our colors were white and gold. The bridesmaids and the flower girl wore gold gowns with white heels. Alex and his best man wore black tuxedos with gold handkerchiefs tucked in the suit pocket. My dress was white with small gold beading around the upper half. It hugged my body perfectly and It didn't make me self-conscious even with the plunging neckline. 

Our lives as a married couple felt like a fairy tale. Every passing day felt so unreal and I sometimes had to pinch myself just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Alex had dropped out of school after we wedded, but it was do big deal. He had a job lined up with his dad's company. I had never applied to college, Alex said I didn't need to. I wouldn't be working anyways. I was going to stay at home and take care of our future children. I wasn't 100% happy about not being able to go College. Mama always drilled into me the importance of an education and how I shouldn't depend on a man. But Alex didn't like it when I told him that. He said a woman's place was at home. Not in school or at work. I begrudgingly agreed to his idea. 

Well it was Christmas and we were suppose to spend it with my family. His parents went away to the Bahamas. I had gotten ready and was waiting on him. Alex had to work that morning and I was praying he got off in time. Lately his schedule had been up and down. Or at least that's the excuse he had given me. He began to work later and later it seemed despite how early he went in. He also started drinking, heavily. He said it was nothing whenever I confronted him about it. He said it helped him deal with work. I suggested he go back to school so he could do something he would enjoy, but that would always end in a fight. He would yell and constantly call me stupid. Since I wasn't "college educated" I had no right to suggest such a thing and should stay in my place, he would argue. 

He finally stumbled in with a bottle in his hand. The clock read 8:00 pm. It wasn't early in the morning, but we were hours late for dinner with my parents! I was beyond upset. He didn't even look like he had went into work. So I assumed he was out drinking all damn day while I waited for him to arrive. 
"Where have you been?!" I yelled. He looked at me like I had lost my mind and just waved me off. He tried to go into our bedroom and sleep off his hangover. Well he wasn't getting off that easy. I blocked his way to the bed and started to lay into him. 

He didn't just stand there and take it as I hoped he would. He dropped the bottle and it crashed into a million pieces as it collided with the floor. 
"I have been busting my ass in the office all morning and I come home to you bitching and moaning!" He screamed. I looked away to avoid his burning gaze. I hated arguing but it was all we did lately. When I said nothing he went on tearing into me.
"You ungrateful bitch! I give you everything and you're still not satisfied  I should have never married you." He continued berating me. I stood there a few moments more taking his words in until I was tired of it.
"I am very grateful for the life you have provided for us but that doesn't mean you can treat me like this and not expect me to get fed up. I'm tired of it Alex. I'm tired of being home alone all day. And when you finally do come home, you're drunk as shit and just pass out by the front door. And trust me you're not the only one regretting getting married. I regret it every single day I wake up. I regret it when you are sober enough to sleep with me. Afterwards I feel like some cheap slut that you paid to get your rocks off. There's no love here anymore, no passion, nothing! Only an alcoholic and a fed up woman." I screamed. By the time I was done with my outburst, I was red in the face and my heart was beating wildly. Alex was also red with anger. His eyes was shooting me death glares but he remained silent. 

He said nothing as he leaned near me and brought his arms back. He had never struck me before. Usually his words were enough to shut me up. I jumped back instinctively. And waited for it to come. I knew I had gone too far this time and I wasn't getting off lightly for it. He smacked me across the face repeatedly. As if he were slapping sense into me. I cried out as his palm continually made contact with my cheek. I begged him to stop, but my pleas fell on death ears. He shoved me against the dresser and began to shake me. I again pleaded for the abuse to end. He wasn't through yet though. He shoved me onto the floor and was about to introduce his fist to my eye when sirens were heard nearby. He panicked and made his escape from the house. 

Moments later I heard my bedroom door open. I didn't know if he came back to take me out for good before the cops came or if it were the cops.  I closed my eyes either way. 
"Oh my god". Timothy gasped. He gently helped me sit up. Timothy was Alex's friend and our neighbor. He had often consoled me after a heated argument with Alex. Sometimes he had to break things up before they got too far. Unfortunately he was too late this time. 
"Sky? Skylar? Speak to me." He begged. A tear rolled out of my eyes and he wiped it away. I couldn't say anything. I just began to cry softly. The cops entered my bedroom next and began to question us. Timothy explained that he had heard commotion coming from my home and called the cops. I ended up pressing charges and the cops set out to pursue Alex. He was found at a bar somewhere. 

Alex had received his sentence. When his parents returned from their trip, they disowned Alex and refused to help him. Out of guilt, they continued to pay the bills in the house. Timothy insisted that he visit frequently during Alex's incarceration to make sure I was okay. Over the course of a few months me and Timothy had got pretty close. He made it clear that he had feelings for me and I found myself confessing that I did too. Needless to say, we became romantically involved and entered a "relationship". I found myself pregnant in April of 1991. Alex would be getting out towards the end of the year. I was afraid and didn't know what to do. And if everything wasn't bad enough, Timothy told me he was leaving and wanted me to come with. I wanted to, but there was a big problem. Our child. He didn't yet know about it and I didn't want to tell him. The months passed by and the date for him to leave was quickly approaching. He left when I was four months into my pregnancy and I stayed behind. It was hard but I still hadn't decided what to do about the baby. I told him I would be joining him later and that was enough for him to let me go. I began showing the next month and became aware that I needed to find a solution quick! 

My solution didn't come until my 8th month of pregnancy. It was December and Alex was getting out that very month. Thankfully, he had to go to rehab right afterwards. So that brought me another month or two. My friend Mae had never been able to have a child of her own. Her husband left her and she lived alone. We kept in contact through writing letters. Alex had only allowed me to call my parents when he was here so it was the only way to keep the friendship. I had an idea one day. I had never thought about an abortion and knew I was carrying my baby full term. Briefly I thought about adoption, but I wanted my baby, so that was out of the question. And that's where Mae came in. I would leave Miranda with her until it was safe for me to come back for her. I had went to her house one day to ask her about it. She was happy when she saw my growing belly and couldn't resit rubbing it. We sat on her couch as we caught up. And then I had to reveal my real reason for visiting. I told Mae about Alex being locked up and why. I also told her that he was getting out soon, but I wanted to leave him. I left out Timothy and the fact that I was pregnant with his child and not Alex's. She didn't say much as I told her the story. I was nervous about what was coming next but I had to continue. I explained that I couldn't take my baby with me right away and I had no one to leave her with once she was born. She looked at me questionably as I went on. I then went on to ask if she could raise her for a while. I knew it wasn't fair to ask this of her, but considering she couldn't have her own child I knew it would be hard for her to turn down my offer. She was quiet as she thought it over. In the end she agreed. Before leaving I let her know I was due between the end of December and early January. 

January 3rd, 1992 was the day Miranda Griffin came into the world. She was gorgeous. She had black hair and blue eyes. She was 7 lbs and 7 ounces and was the cutest thing I ever laid eyes on. Alex was released from jail, but away in rehab. So he knew nothing about my pregnancy or Miranda. I stuck to my word and when it was time to go "home", Mae picked us up. She had a crib set up in her guest room. It was a tearful goodbye, but it was something I had to do. I had thought about writing a letter to explain everything in case I wasn't able to come back for her. So she'd know I did love her and wanted to keep her. But that would mean I wasn't coming back and I was so I opted not to do that. The following week I joined Timothy in Riverview. I didn't tell him about the baby and he didn't question the few pounds I picked up. He was just happy to see me. I was happy to see him too, but it didn't feel right. Nothing really felt right since I had left her, but knowing she would join us kept me going. 

**So I know this wasn't really a Miranda chapter, but it's leading to her finding her parents. I don't want to say too much, but as fate will have it Miranda will never find out why she was given to Mae. I won't give anything else away though! Also you might wonder why she didn't leave Miranda with her parents. Well when Alex returns home and discovers she isn't there, the first place he would go is their house. He would then see the baby and she didn't want to risk him taking her or harming her parents in the process. She felt that Mae was the best choice.